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Hatter
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« on: December 31, 2017, 4:03 AM »



The Coffee Counter on the Photography Cafe website is a place to meet,
 chat and even have birthday parties and roasts!!!  
Please join all of us in sharing a joke or
"A funny thing happened on the way to the..."
You can fill in the rest of the sentence!


COFFEE COUNTER


Welcome to 2018!

Stop in every day and join us for a snack and a drink.  
Let us know what's going on in your life.
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BigAl
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« Reply #1 on: January 1, 2018, 1:38 AM »

National hatred is something peculiar.  You always find it strongest and most violent where there is the lowest degree of culture.    --> Goethe


THE HORMONE HOSTAGE
The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other!
DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?


DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!


DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars.
« Last Edit: January 1, 2018, 1:59 AM by BigAl » Logged

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« Reply #2 on: January 2, 2018, 2:13 AM »

For a man to achieve all that is demanded of him he must regard himself as greater than he is.   --> Goethe

THE HORMONE HOSTAGE
The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other!
DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?


DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't over do it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!



DANGEROUS: That costs way too much!
SAFER: I can get that a lot cheaper online.
SAFEST: Here's my wallet, I'll meet you in the restaurant.

And remember: Money talks. Chocolate sings.
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« Reply #3 on: January 3, 2018, 2:31 AM »

A man's defects are the faults of his time while his virtues are his own.   --> Goethe

Tourist Groups Two tourist groups one made up of all blondes and one of all brunettes. They charter a double-decker bus for a day trip in London. The brunettes ride in the bottom of the bus and the blondes ride on the top level. The brunettes down below are whooping it up and having a great time when one of them realizes she doesn't hear anything from the blondes upstairs. She decides to go up and investigate. When the brunette reaches the top, she finds all the blondes frozen in fear, staring straight ahead at the road and clutching the seats in front of them.
The brunette says, "What's going on up here? We're having a great time downstairs! "
One of the blondes says, "Yeah, but you've got a driver."
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« Reply #4 on: January 4, 2018, 3:04 AM »

One ought, every day at least, to hear a little song, read a good poem, see a fine picture, and, if at all possible, to speak a few reasonable words.   --> Goethe


Subject: The World According to Little Billy
"You know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."
Little BILLY replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."
"Oh?" replied the man. "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?
"No" replied Little Billy, "he minded his own business!!"
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« Reply #5 on: January 5, 2018, 2:53 AM »

Fools and sensible men are equally innocuous.  It is in the half fools and the half wise that the danger lies.   --> Goethe


When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not sure." "Look in your underwear, Grandma!," he advised. "Mine says I'm four."
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« Reply #6 on: January 5, 2018, 3:30 PM »


Photo Of The Quarter for Oct,Nov,Dec 2017

During the previous Quarter you have seen some wonderful POTWs. Now it is your chance to cast up to three votes for one of these to become the POTQ for Oct,Nov,Dec 17

Just go to this link - http://www.photography-cafe.com/forum/index.php?topic=26724.0 and pick your winner(s).

Alan...Smiley
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« Reply #7 on: January 6, 2018, 4:15 AM »

Art is long, life short, judgement difficult, opportunity fleeting.   --> Goethe.


A missionary went to deepest, darkest Africa to win some converts. He took several cases of Dr Pepper with him as gifts. Unfortunately, he was killed by cannibals and cooked for dinner. They'd eat a leg and have a Dr Pepper, eat an arm and have a Dr Pepper, eat a rib and have a Dr Pepper and so on until all that was left was one small part which they didn't eat. Do you know why? Because "Things go better with Coke".
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« Reply #8 on: January 6, 2018, 2:34 PM »


PHOTO OF THE WEEK (POTW)
for December 31st to January 6th


WINNER!!


"Broadchurch Pano"
by jane_t






Click on the photo to go to Jane's album and leave a comment.


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« Reply #9 on: January 7, 2018, 5:54 AM »

A clever man commits no minor blunders.   --> Goethe


These 3 guys go up to see St. Peter at the pearly gates. St. Peter looks through his little notebook, and tells them that they're not expected. He asks him to explain what they're doing there.   The first guy says: "Well, for a long time I've suspected my wife of having an affair.  Every day, when I get back and ask her what she did all day she is very vague.  She usually says something like "Oh, just shopping". So, one day I came back early from work and found her naked in bed.  Naturally, she denied any fooling around.  I started searching the place... under the bed, in the closet... nothing.  I looked out the window and saw this guy pulling up his pants.  I was so mad, I picked up the fridge and threw it over the balcony railing. I suddenly got this terrible pain in my chest and couldn't breathe. That's all I remember."   Second guy:  "I was just jogging down the street, when the knot in the string of my jogging pants came out.  They fell down around my ankles.  I bent over to pull them up and that's all I remember."   Third guy:  "Well sir, I was sitting in this refridgerator and....
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« Reply #10 on: January 8, 2018, 1:19 AM »

To rule is easy, to govern difficult.   --> Goethe

I've Learned:
1. I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.
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« Reply #11 on: January 9, 2018, 3:57 AM »

There is not a single act of courtesy that does not have a deep moral basis.   --> Goethe


I've Learned:
2. I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes.
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« Reply #12 on: January 10, 2018, 3:08 AM »

Talents are best nurtured in solitude; character is best formed in the stormy billows of the world.   --> Goethe


I've Learned:
3. I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.
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« Reply #13 on: January 10, 2018, 4:12 AM »


PHOTO OF THE QUARTER
FOR Oct,Nov,Dec 2017


WINNER!!


"Blue Butterfly"
by jane_t






Click on the photo to go to jane_t's album and leave a comment.


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« Reply #14 on: January 11, 2018, 2:59 AM »

We are never deceived; we deceive ourselves.   --> Goethe


I've Learned:
4. I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better have a lot of talent.
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« Reply #15 on: January 12, 2018, 2:06 AM »

If you treat men the way they are you never improve them.  If you treat them the way you want them to be, you do.   --> Goethe
When ideas fail, words come in very handy.   --> Goethe


I've Learned:
5. I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think.
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« Reply #16 on: January 13, 2018, 5:49 AM »

To rule is easy, to govern difficult.   --> Goethe


If you laid all of the lawyers in the world, end to end, on the equator, it would be a good idea to just leave them there.
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« Reply #17 on: January 13, 2018, 5:50 AM »


PHOTO OF THE WEEK (POTW)
for January 7th to 13th


WINNER!!


"Tivoli Gardens Christmas Fair"
by Christopher Robin






Click on the photo to go to Christopher's album and leave a comment.


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« Reply #18 on: January 14, 2018, 5:08 AM »

If Columbus had had an advisory committee he would probably still be at the dock.   --> Justice Arthur Goldberg


Three guys are banished to a desert island.  One is a German, one is French, one is a typical American man (TAM).  A bottle washes to shore, the French guy rubs it, and out pops a genie.  The genie offers each man one wish.  the German misses his wife and POOF, he is back home.  the Frenchman misses his children and POOF he is back home. The American misses the other two guys and POOF ...
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« Reply #19 on: January 15, 2018, 2:08 AM »

Only exceptionally rational men can afford to be absurd.   --> Allan Goldfein


Legal business card:     Dewey, Cheatham, & Howe         Attorneys at Law
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