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Author Topic: Coffee Counter 2018  (Read 5905 times)
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« on: December 31, 2017, 4:03 AM »



The Coffee Counter on the Photography Cafe website is a place to meet,
 chat and even have birthday parties and roasts!!!  
Please join all of us in sharing a joke or
"A funny thing happened on the way to the..."
You can fill in the rest of the sentence!


COFFEE COUNTER


Welcome to 2018!

Stop in every day and join us for a snack and a drink.  
Let us know what's going on in your life.
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« Reply #1 on: January 1, 2018, 1:38 AM »

National hatred is something peculiar.  You always find it strongest and most violent where there is the lowest degree of culture.    --> Goethe


THE HORMONE HOSTAGE
The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other!
DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?


DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!


DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars.
« Last Edit: January 1, 2018, 1:59 AM by BigAl » Logged

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« Reply #2 on: January 2, 2018, 2:13 AM »

For a man to achieve all that is demanded of him he must regard himself as greater than he is.   --> Goethe

THE HORMONE HOSTAGE
The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other!
DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?


DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't over do it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!



DANGEROUS: That costs way too much!
SAFER: I can get that a lot cheaper online.
SAFEST: Here's my wallet, I'll meet you in the restaurant.

And remember: Money talks. Chocolate sings.
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« Reply #3 on: January 3, 2018, 2:31 AM »

A man's defects are the faults of his time while his virtues are his own.   --> Goethe

Tourist Groups Two tourist groups one made up of all blondes and one of all brunettes. They charter a double-decker bus for a day trip in London. The brunettes ride in the bottom of the bus and the blondes ride on the top level. The brunettes down below are whooping it up and having a great time when one of them realizes she doesn't hear anything from the blondes upstairs. She decides to go up and investigate. When the brunette reaches the top, she finds all the blondes frozen in fear, staring straight ahead at the road and clutching the seats in front of them.
The brunette says, "What's going on up here? We're having a great time downstairs! "
One of the blondes says, "Yeah, but you've got a driver."
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« Reply #4 on: January 4, 2018, 3:04 AM »

One ought, every day at least, to hear a little song, read a good poem, see a fine picture, and, if at all possible, to speak a few reasonable words.   --> Goethe


Subject: The World According to Little Billy
"You know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."
Little BILLY replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."
"Oh?" replied the man. "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?
"No" replied Little Billy, "he minded his own business!!"
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« Reply #5 on: January 5, 2018, 2:53 AM »

Fools and sensible men are equally innocuous.  It is in the half fools and the half wise that the danger lies.   --> Goethe


When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not sure." "Look in your underwear, Grandma!," he advised. "Mine says I'm four."
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« Reply #6 on: January 5, 2018, 3:30 PM »


Photo Of The Quarter for Oct,Nov,Dec 2017

During the previous Quarter you have seen some wonderful POTWs. Now it is your chance to cast up to three votes for one of these to become the POTQ for Oct,Nov,Dec 17

Just go to this link - http://www.photography-cafe.com/forum/index.php?topic=26724.0 and pick your winner(s).

Alan...Smiley
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« Reply #7 on: January 6, 2018, 4:15 AM »

Art is long, life short, judgement difficult, opportunity fleeting.   --> Goethe.


A missionary went to deepest, darkest Africa to win some converts. He took several cases of Dr Pepper with him as gifts. Unfortunately, he was killed by cannibals and cooked for dinner. They'd eat a leg and have a Dr Pepper, eat an arm and have a Dr Pepper, eat a rib and have a Dr Pepper and so on until all that was left was one small part which they didn't eat. Do you know why? Because "Things go better with Coke".
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« Reply #8 on: January 6, 2018, 2:34 PM »


PHOTO OF THE WEEK (POTW)
for December 31st to January 6th


WINNER!!


"Broadchurch Pano"
by jane_t






Click on the photo to go to Jane's album and leave a comment.


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« Reply #9 on: January 7, 2018, 5:54 AM »

A clever man commits no minor blunders.   --> Goethe


These 3 guys go up to see St. Peter at the pearly gates. St. Peter looks through his little notebook, and tells them that they're not expected. He asks him to explain what they're doing there.   The first guy says: "Well, for a long time I've suspected my wife of having an affair.  Every day, when I get back and ask her what she did all day she is very vague.  She usually says something like "Oh, just shopping". So, one day I came back early from work and found her naked in bed.  Naturally, she denied any fooling around.  I started searching the place... under the bed, in the closet... nothing.  I looked out the window and saw this guy pulling up his pants.  I was so mad, I picked up the fridge and threw it over the balcony railing. I suddenly got this terrible pain in my chest and couldn't breathe. That's all I remember."   Second guy:  "I was just jogging down the street, when the knot in the string of my jogging pants came out.  They fell down around my ankles.  I bent over to pull them up and that's all I remember."   Third guy:  "Well sir, I was sitting in this refridgerator and....
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« Reply #10 on: January 8, 2018, 1:19 AM »

To rule is easy, to govern difficult.   --> Goethe

I've Learned:
1. I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.
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« Reply #11 on: January 9, 2018, 3:57 AM »

There is not a single act of courtesy that does not have a deep moral basis.   --> Goethe


I've Learned:
2. I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes.
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« Reply #12 on: January 10, 2018, 3:08 AM »

Talents are best nurtured in solitude; character is best formed in the stormy billows of the world.   --> Goethe


I've Learned:
3. I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.
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« Reply #13 on: January 10, 2018, 4:12 AM »


PHOTO OF THE QUARTER
FOR Oct,Nov,Dec 2017


WINNER!!


"Blue Butterfly"
by jane_t






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« Reply #14 on: January 11, 2018, 2:59 AM »

We are never deceived; we deceive ourselves.   --> Goethe


I've Learned:
4. I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better have a lot of talent.
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« Reply #15 on: January 12, 2018, 2:06 AM »

If you treat men the way they are you never improve them.  If you treat them the way you want them to be, you do.   --> Goethe
When ideas fail, words come in very handy.   --> Goethe


I've Learned:
5. I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think.
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« Reply #16 on: January 13, 2018, 5:49 AM »

To rule is easy, to govern difficult.   --> Goethe


If you laid all of the lawyers in the world, end to end, on the equator, it would be a good idea to just leave them there.
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« Reply #17 on: January 13, 2018, 5:50 AM »


PHOTO OF THE WEEK (POTW)
for January 7th to 13th


WINNER!!


"Tivoli Gardens Christmas Fair"
by Christopher Robin






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« Reply #18 on: January 14, 2018, 5:08 AM »

If Columbus had had an advisory committee he would probably still be at the dock.   --> Justice Arthur Goldberg


Three guys are banished to a desert island.  One is a German, one is French, one is a typical American man (TAM).  A bottle washes to shore, the French guy rubs it, and out pops a genie.  The genie offers each man one wish.  the German misses his wife and POOF, he is back home.  the Frenchman misses his children and POOF he is back home. The American misses the other two guys and POOF ...
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« Reply #19 on: January 15, 2018, 2:08 AM »

Only exceptionally rational men can afford to be absurd.   --> Allan Goldfein


Legal business card:     Dewey, Cheatham, & Howe         Attorneys at Law
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« Reply #20 on: January 15, 2018, 2:37 PM »

Only exceptionally rational men can afford to be absurd.   --> Allan Goldfein


Legal business card:     Dewey, Cheatham, & Howe         Attorneys at Law


There is a firm of English Estate Agents named - "Doolittle and Dalley"
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« Reply #21 on: January 16, 2018, 2:23 AM »

If a growing object is both fresh and spoiled at the same time, chances are it is a child.   --> Morris Goldfisher


Three guys are banished to the Sahara desert.  One is German, one is French and one is from suburban Milwaukee.  The judge allows each to take one item with him for his 5 year banishment.  the German takes bread in case of hunger.  the Frenchman takes wine in case of thirst.  The Milwaukeean takes a car door in case it gets hot, he can roll down the window.
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« Reply #22 on: January 17, 2018, 1:49 AM »

The individual is the true reality of life. A cosmos within himself, he does not exist for the state, nor for that abstraction called society, or the nation, which is only a collection of individuals. --> Emma Goldman


ACTUAL EXCERPTS FROM STUDENT SCIENCE EXAM PAPERS IN THE U.S.A.
1. Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the organ of the species.
2. Benjamin Franklin produced electricity by rubbing cats backwards.
3. The theory of evolution was greatly objected to because it made man think. .

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« Reply #23 on: January 18, 2018, 2:24 AM »

Philosophy is a good horse in a stable but an errant jade on a journey. --> Oliver Goldsmith


ACTUAL EXCERPTS FROM STUDENT SCIENCE EXAM PAPERS IN THE U.S.A.
4. Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillers.
5. The dodo is a bird that is almost decent by now.
6. To remove air from a flask, fill it with water, tip the water out, and put the cork in quick before the air can get back in.

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« Reply #24 on: January 19, 2018, 3:10 AM »

I think any man in business would be foolish to fool around with his secretary. If it's somebody else's secretary, fine! --> Barry Goldwater


ACTUAL EXCERPTS FROM STUDENT SCIENCE EXAM PAPERS IN THE U.S.A.
7. The process of turning steam back into water again is called conversation.
8. A magnet is something you find crawling all over a dead cat.
9. The Earth makes one resolution every 24 hours.

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« Reply #25 on: January 20, 2018, 4:08 AM »

A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's printed on. --> Samuel Goldwyn


ACTUAL EXCERPTS FROM STUDENT SCIENCE EXAM PAPERS IN THE U.S.A.
10. The cuckoo bird does not lay his own eggs.
11. To prevent conception when having intercourse, the male wears a condominium.
12. To collect fumes of sulfur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube.

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« Reply #26 on: January 20, 2018, 5:40 AM »


PHOTO OF THE WEEK (POTW)
for January 14th to 20th


WINNER!!


"Between the Mountains"
by Highcloud






Click on the photo to go to Christine's album and leave a comment.


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« Reply #27 on: January 21, 2018, 4:56 AM »

Anybody who goes to see a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined. --> Samuel Goldwyn


ACTUAL EXCERPTS FROM STUDENT SCIENCE EXAM PAPERS IN THE U.S.A.
13. Parallel lines never meet, unless you bend one or both of them.
14. Algebraical symbols are used when you do not know what you are talking about.
15. Geometry teaches us to bisex angles.

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« Reply #28 on: January 22, 2018, 2:24 AM »

The worst crime against working people is a company which fails to operate at a profit. --> Samuel Gompers


ACTUAL EXCERPTS FROM STUDENT SCIENCE EXAM PAPERS IN THE U.S.A.
16. A circle is a line which meets its other end without ending.
17. The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects.
18. The moon is a planet just like the Earth, only itis even deader.

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« Reply #29 on: January 23, 2018, 3:05 AM »

A lecture is an occasion when you numb one end to benefit another. --> John Gould


ACTUAL EXCERPTS FROM STUDENT SCIENCE EXAM PAPERS IN THE U.S.A.
19. Artificial insemination is when the farmer does it to the cow instead of the bull.
20. An example of animal breeding is the farmer who mated a bull that gave a great deal of milk with a bull with good meat.
21. We believe that the reptiles came from the amphibians by spontaneous generation and study of rocks.

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« Reply #30 on: January 24, 2018, 2:11 AM »

I rejoice in the multifariousness of nature and leave the chimera of certainty to politicians and preachers. --> Stephen Jay Gould


ACTUAL EXCERPTS FROM STUDENT SCIENCE EXAM PAPERS IN THE U.S.A.
22. English sparrows and starlings eat the farmers grain and soil his corpse.
23. By self-pollination, the farmer may get a flock of long-haired sheep.
24. If conditions are not favorable, bacteria go into a period of adolescence.

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« Reply #31 on: January 25, 2018, 1:01 AM »

It is fairly obvious that those in favour of the death penalty have more affinity with assassins than those who are not. --> Remy de Gourmont


ACTUAL EXCERPTS FROM STUDENT SCIENCE EXAM PAPERS IN THE U.S.A.
25. Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire.
26. Vegetative propagation is the process by which one individual manufactures another individual by accident.
27. A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold.

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« Reply #32 on: January 26, 2018, 3:06 AM »

Chastity is the most unnatural of the sexual perversions. --> Remy de Gourmont


ACTUAL EXCERPTS FROM STUDENT SCIENCE EXAM PAPERS IN THE U.S.A.
28. A triangle which has an angle of 135 degrees is called an obscene triangle.
29. Blood flows down one leg and up the other.
30. A person should take a bath once in the summer, and not quite so often in the winter.
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« Reply #33 on: January 27, 2018, 5:18 AM »


PHOTO OF THE WEEK (POTW)
for January 21st to 27th


WINNER!!


"Bamburgh Castle2"
by trevor howell






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« Reply #34 on: January 27, 2018, 5:19 AM »

The dreams of reason bring forth monsters. --> Francisco Goya


ACTUAL EXCERPTS FROM STUDENT SCIENCE EXAM PAPERS IN THE U.S.A.
31. The hookworm larvae enters the human body through the soul.
32. When you haven't got enough iodine in your blood you get a glacier.
33. It is a well-known fact that a deceased body harms the mind.

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« Reply #35 on: January 28, 2018, 3:27 AM »

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. --> Benjamin Franklin.


ACTUAL EXCERPTS FROM STUDENT SCIENCE EXAM PAPERS IN THE U.S.A.
34. Humans are more intelligent than beasts because the human branes have more convulsions.
35. For fainting: rub the person's chest, or if a lady, rub her arm above the hand instead.
36. For fractures: to see if the limb is broken, wiggle it gently back and forth.

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« Reply #36 on: January 29, 2018, 2:25 AM »

Never contend with a man who has nothing to lose. --> Baltasar Gracian


ACTUAL EXCERPTS FROM STUDENT SCIENCE EXAM PAPERS IN THE U.S.A.
37. For dog bite: put the dog away for several days. If he has not recovered, then kill it.
38. For nosebleed: put the nose much lower than the body.
39. For drowning: climb on top of the person and move up and down to make artificial perspiration.

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« Reply #37 on: January 30, 2018, 2:49 AM »

It is a great art to know how to sell wind. --> Baltasar Gracian


ACTUAL EXCERPTS FROM STUDENT SCIENCE EXAM PAPERS IN THE U.S.A.
40. To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose.
41. For head colds: use an agonizer to spray the nose until it drops in your throat.
42. For snakebites: bleed the wound and rape the victim in a blanket for shock.

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« Reply #38 on: January 31, 2018, 2:19 AM »

A wise man gets more use from his enemies than a fool from his friends. --> Baltasar Gracian


ACTUAL EXCERPTS FROM STUDENT SCIENCE EXAM PAPERS IN THE U.S.A.
43. For asphyxiation: apply artificial respiration until the patient is dead.
44. Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if the blood is affirmative or negative.
45. Bar magnets have north and south poles, horseshoe magnets have east and west poles.
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« Reply #39 on: February 1, 2018, 3:11 AM »

To be original is more commendable than being an imitator, and were it not for the fact that most of us are slaves to the power of suggestion, more progress would be made. --> Frank D. Graham


ACTUAL EXCERPTS FROM STUDENT SCIENCE EXAM PAPERS IN THE U.S.A.
46. When water freezes you can walk on it. That is what Christ did long ago in wintertime.
47. When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide.
THE END

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« Reply #40 on: February 2, 2018, 2:27 AM »

The impossible is often the untried. --> Jim Goodwin

Did ya hear about the 93 year old man and the 92 year old woman who found each other and finally got married? They spent their honeymoon getting out of the car.
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« Reply #41 on: February 3, 2018, 2:45 PM »


PHOTO OF THE WEEK (POTW)
for January 28th to February 3rd


WINNER!!


"Under the Bridge in Prague"
by Highcloud






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« Reply #42 on: February 5, 2018, 1:11 AM »

Every absurdity has a champion to defend it. --> Oliver Goldsmith

Q: Why does Dolly Parton have such a thin waist? A: Everyone knows that things can't grow in the shade.
Did you hear Dolly Parton came in First and Third in a race?
Q: Have you seen Dolly Parton's NEW Shoes? A: Niether has she!
Q: How can you tell Dolly Parton's kids? A: They're the ones with stretch marks on their lips!
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« Reply #43 on: February 7, 2018, 3:27 AM »

I know of no method to secure the repeal of bad or obnoxious laws so effective as their stringent execution. --> Ulysses Grant


I saw a strange funeral procession going through town the other day. There were 2 hearses, and about 60 guys walking, one behind the other. The guy in front was walking a small poodle. Curious, I approached him and asked what was happening. He said, "That hearse contains the body of my beloved wife. My dog, Skippy, is a wonderful pet, but sometimes he's "funny" around women. He tore out my wife's throat." I offered my condolences, then asked why there were two hearses. He replied, "The second hearse contains the mortal remains of my beloved mother-in-law. Skippy's a wonderful dog, but he gets funny around women. He tore out her throat, too." Thinking fast, I realized there were some real possibilities here. "Say, buddy. Do you think I could borrow Skippy for a little while?" "Get in line."
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« Reply #44 on: February 8, 2018, 2:30 AM »

The real theatre of the sex war is the domestic hearth. --> Germaine Greer


Q: Where does a horse go when he gets sick? A: The horspital.
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« Reply #45 on: February 8, 2018, 9:32 AM »

Q: Why is it especially bad for a pig to get sick? A: Because the pig must be killed before being cured.
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« Reply #46 on: February 9, 2018, 2:32 AM »

You can go crazy or you can go peacefully. --> Adele Greenfield



Q: Where does a duck go when he gets sick? A: The ductor.
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« Reply #47 on: February 10, 2018, 1:25 AM »

The advantage of a classical education is that it enables you to despise the wealth which it prevents you from achieving. --> Russell Green



Q: What does an elephant do when he stubs his toe? A: He calls the toe truck.
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« Reply #48 on: February 11, 2018, 1:56 AM »


PHOTO OF THE WEEK (POTW)
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WINNER!!


"At The Going Down of The Sun"
by Pipeman






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« Reply #49 on: February 12, 2018, 2:43 AM »

I am the inferior of any man whose rights I trample underfoot. --> Horace Greeley




Q: What happens when ducks fly backwards? A: They quack up.
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« Reply #50 on: February 12, 2018, 10:53 PM »

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« Reply #51 on: February 13, 2018, 2:02 AM »

Better incur the trouble of testing and exploding a thousand fallacies than by rejecting stifle a single beneficial truth. --> Horace Greeley



Q: What's grey, has four legs, and a trunk? A: A mouse on vacation.
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« Reply #52 on: February 14, 2018, 3:03 AM »

Commandment Number One of any truly civilized society is this: Let people be different. --> David Grayson


I love YUGO's -- those little cars are so intelligently arranged. One model even has a place just big enough to hold your keys, a pack of Kleenex, and some maps. It's called the trunk.
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« Reply #53 on: February 15, 2018, 4:26 AM »

Where ignorance is bliss 'Tis folly to be wise. --> Thomas Grat


Q: Why don't men trust women? A: Would you trust someone that bled for a week and didn't die?
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« Reply #54 on: February 16, 2018, 4:41 AM »

With every civil right there has to be a corresponding civil obligation. --> Edison Haines


Q: Do you know what Spock found in the toilet?
A: The captain's log.
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« Reply #55 on: February 17, 2018, 4:58 AM »


PHOTO OF THE WEEK (POTW)
for February 11th to 17th


WINNER!!


"Hummingbird in afternoon light"
by droll13






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« Reply #56 on: February 18, 2018, 4:46 AM »

The real cause of personal existence is not the favour of the almighty, but the sexual love of one's earthly parents. --> Ernst Haeckel


Q: What do you get when a dinosaur has a car accident? A: Tyrannosarus wrecks.
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« Reply #57 on: February 19, 2018, 1:50 AM »

All happiness depends on a leisurely breakfast. --> John Gunther


Q: What did one lightbulb say to the other?
A: I'm going out tonight.
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« Reply #58 on: February 20, 2018, 1:15 AM »

Originality exists in every individual because each of us differs from the others. We are all primary numbers divisible only by ourselves. --> Jean Guitton



Q: What did the firefly say when he backed into the lawn-mower? A: De-lighted, no end!
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« Reply #59 on: February 21, 2018, 4:30 AM »

The little I know I owe to my ignorance. --> Sacha Guitry


When the British were having their difficulties in the Falklands the following announcement was made to a unit of the SAS. Men, I have some good news and some bad news. The Brigadier feels that since we were one of the first units to arrive, and since we haven't had any fresh laundry in two weeks, you will all be able to change underwear. Now the bad news: Smythe, you change with Carstairs, Jones you change with Higgins...
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« Reply #60 on: February 22, 2018, 3:23 AM »

Chivalry is the most delicate form of contempt. --> Albert Guerard




Does Quasimodo ring a bell?
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« Reply #61 on: February 23, 2018, 2:27 AM »

Doubt 'til thou canst doubt no more...doubt is thought and thought is life. Systems which end doubts are devices for drugging thoughts. --> Albert Guerard


I think I'm getting old...
I just found out that Iím over-the-hill at the same time that the brakes no longer work.

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« Reply #62 on: February 24, 2018, 3:59 AM »


PHOTO OF THE WEEK (POTW)
for February 18th to 24th


WINNER!!


"Spring is coming!"
by Nightjar






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« Reply #63 on: February 25, 2018, 5:02 AM »

I expect to pass through this world but once; any good thing therefore that I can do, or any kindness I can show to my fellow creatures, let me do it now; let me not defer or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again. --> Stephen Grellet
 

I think I'm getting old...
I now get warned to slow down by my doctor instead of a police officer.

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« Reply #64 on: February 26, 2018, 1:12 AM »

The service we render others is really the rent we pay for our room on earth. --> Sir Wilfred Grenfell
 

I think I'm getting old...
My dog now lets me get to the stick first.

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« Reply #65 on: February 27, 2018, 2:06 AM »

Gresham's Law: When depreciated, mutilated, or debased coinage (or currency) is in concurrent circulation with money of high value in terms of precious metals, the good money automatically disappears. --> Sir Thomas Gresham
 

I think I'm getting old...
The spiritís willing but the flesh is too darn tired.
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« Reply #66 on: February 28, 2018, 3:20 AM »

The biggest gap in the world is the gap between the justice of a cause and the motives of the people pushing it. --> John P. Grier
 

I think I'm getting old...
I no longer worry about avoiding temptation because it avoids me.
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« Reply #67 on: March 1, 2018, 2:55 AM »

Books won't stay banned. They won't burn. Ideas won't go to jail. --> Alfred Griswold
 

I think I'm getting old...
Every time I feel like exercising I lie down until the feeling passes.
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« Reply #68 on: March 2, 2018, 4:01 AM »

Creative ideas do not spring from groups. They spring from individuals. The divine spark leaps from the finger of God to the finger of Adam, whether it takes ultimate shape in a law of physics or a policy, a sonata or a mechanical computer. --> Alfred Griswold
 

I think I'm getting old...
The most appropriate exercise for me is discretion.
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« Reply #69 on: March 3, 2018, 3:48 AM »

Only work which is the product of inner compulsion can have spiritual meaning. --> Walter Gropius
 

I think I'm getting old...
To keep my health I have to eat what I donít want, drink what I donít like and do what Iíd rather not.
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« Reply #70 on: March 4, 2018, 6:53 AM »

Figures won't lie, but liars will figure. --> Charles H. Grosvener
 

I think I'm getting old...
Iíve stopped eating health foods so I can get all the preservatives possible.
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« Reply #71 on: March 5, 2018, 1:53 AM »

Not to know certain things is a great part of wisdom. --> Hugo Grotius
 

I think I'm getting old...
The doctor said I should get more fresh air and exercise; so I wind down the window when Iím out in the car.
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« Reply #72 on: March 6, 2018, 1:11 AM »


PHOTO OF THE WEEK (POTW)
for February 25th to March 3rd


WINNER!!


"Vintage Bus in Valetta"
by Highcloud






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« Reply #73 on: March 6, 2018, 1:13 AM »

Autobiography is an unrivalled vehicle for telling the truth about other people. --> Philip Guedalla
 

I think I'm getting old...
I donít feel old. Actually I donít feel anything till noon when itís time for my nap.
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« Reply #74 on: March 7, 2018, 1:44 AM »

Man's security comes from within himself, and the security of all men is founded upon the security of the individual. --> Manly Hall


A new Redneck law was just recently passed
When a couple gets divorced, they are STILL cousins.

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« Reply #75 on: March 8, 2018, 3:48 AM »

Nothing has an uglier look to us than reason, when it is not on our side. --> George Saville


Did you hear that the Redneck Governor's Mansion burned down?
'Yep.. Prit'near took out the whole trailer park.. The library was a total loss too. Both books went poof .... up in flames and the Governor hadn't even finished coloring one of them.'

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« Reply #76 on: March 9, 2018, 2:13 AM »

When people contend for their Liberty, they seldom get anything for their Victory but new Masters. --> George Saville


A State Trooper pulls over a pickup on Highway 16 and says to the driver, 'Got any I.D. ? ' . .
and the driver replies 'Bout wut?'
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« Reply #77 on: March 10, 2018, 5:04 AM »

He that leaveth nothing to chance will do few things ill, but he will do very few things. --> George Saville


A Redneck passed away and left his entire
estate to his beloved widow . ..
but she can't touch it 'till she's 14.
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« Reply #78 on: March 11, 2018, 6:26 AM »

Men are not hanged for stealing horses, but that horses not be stolen. --> George Saville


How do you know when you're staying in a Redneck
motel?
When you call the front desk and say,
" I gotta leak in my sink, and the clerk replies ......
"Go ahead."
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« Reply #79 on: March 11, 2018, 6:27 AM »


PHOTO OF THE WEEK (POTW)
for March 4th to 10th


WINNER!!


"Willow warbler"
by Chocky






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« Reply #80 on: March 12, 2018, 2:46 AM »

Changing one thing for another is not always reform. --> T.C. Haliburton



Did you hear that they have raised the minimum
drinking age for Rednecks to 32 Huh
It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools.
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« Reply #81 on: March 13, 2018, 5:14 AM »

Every kind of service necessary to the public good becomes honorable by being necessary. --> Nathan Hale

Two reasons why it's so hard to solve a Redneck murder:
1) The DNA is all the same
2) There are no dental records
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« Reply #82 on: March 14, 2018, 4:05 AM »

If economists predicted the weather and weather forcasters predicted the economy, would we be any worse off? --> Robert Half


Who invented the toothbrush?
A Redneck!!
(If it had been invented by anyone else, it would have been a teeth brush)
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« Reply #83 on: March 15, 2018, 4:56 AM »

There is something that is much more scarce, something rarer than ability. It is the ability to recognize ability. --> Robert Half



Did you hear about the $3 million Redneck Lottery ?
The winner gets $3.00 a year for a million years.
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« Reply #84 on: March 16, 2018, 2:36 AM »

I believe that the scientist is trying to express absolute truth and the artist absolute beauty, so that I find science, and art, and in an attempt to lead the good life, all the religion that I want. --> John B.S. Haldane




HOW FAT WAS SHE?
1.  She was so fat that I had to run her down 'cause I didn't think I had enough gas to drive around her.
2.  She was so fat, we would take her to MacDonalds to watch the numbers change.
3.  She was so fat, when she got a shoeshine she had to take their word for it.


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« Reply #85 on: March 17, 2018, 3:55 PM »


PHOTO OF THE WEEK (POTW)
for March 11th to 17th


WINNER!!


"We're hungry !"
by droll13






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« Reply #86 on: March 17, 2018, 3:57 PM »

Law is not justice and a trial is not a scientific inquiry into truth. A trial is the resolution of a dispute. --> Edison Haines


HOW FAT WAS SHE?
4.  She was so fat, when she stood on a corner, a cop would come along and tell her to break it up.
5.  She was so fat, when she'd walk out onto the beach after swimming in the ocean, three guys from Greenpeace would try to throw her back in the water.
6.  She was so fat, she was named Miss Earthquake of 2009.

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« Reply #87 on: March 20, 2018, 3:19 AM »

Men will sooner surrender their rights than their customs. --> Moritz Guedemann


HOW FAT WAS SHE?
7.  She was so fat, she was sent over by the USSR to create a food shortage.
8.  She was so fat, she can't put more than an inch of water in the bathtub.
9.  She was so fat, she had more chins than a Chinese phonebook.

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« Reply #88 on: March 21, 2018, 3:56 AM »

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating


HOW FAT WAS SHE?
16.  She was so fat, on Halloween she tied a rope to her nose and went to a party as the Goodyear Blimp.
17.  She was so fat, that aside from the Great Wall, she is the only sign of human life that can be seen from the moon.
18.  She was so fat, that even Einstien couldn't describe her using only four dimensions.

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« Reply #89 on: March 22, 2018, 1:36 PM »

"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others."  - Samuel Johnson



HOW FAT WAS SHE?
19.  She was so fat, she could survive a nuclear winter without refilling.
20.  She was so fat, she had her own international date line.
21.  She was so fat, the speak-your-weight machine was struck dumb.
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« Reply #90 on: March 23, 2018, 3:50 AM »

"I've just learned about his illness.  Let's hope it's nothing trivial."  - Irvin S. Cobb


HOW FAT WAS SHE?
10.  She was so fat, when she laid around the house, she laid AROUND the house.
11.  She was so fat, she has her own Zip Code.
12.  She was so fat, when she stood on the corner in a blue dress, people would shove mail in her mouth.
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« Reply #91 on: March 24, 2018, 3:32 AM »

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator."  - John Bright


HOW FAT WAS SHE?
13.  She was so fat, if you threw a baseball at her, it would go into orbit.
14.  She was so fat, she gave her measurements in "radius" and "degrees".
15.  She was so fat, she needed two watches in different time zones.
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« Reply #92 on: March 24, 2018, 5:45 PM »


PHOTO OF THE WEEK (POTW)
for March 18th to 24th


WINNER!!


"Basildon Park in winter sunshine"
by Nightjar






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« Reply #93 on: March 25, 2018, 3:53 AM »

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."  - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).
'Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?'  - Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)


Did you hear about the New Yorker who bought 4 snow tires?
They melted on the way home.
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« Reply #94 on: March 26, 2018, 1:24 AM »

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one."  - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one." - - Winston Churchill, in response.



Q: What's a wrench? A: A place where people from New York raise cattle.
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« Reply #95 on: March 28, 2018, 2:53 AM »

"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here."  - Stephen Bishop


Sometimes we are better off if we do not ask too many questions.  For example, a man indignantly asked the waiter why he had his thumb on his steak.  Replied the waiter, "So it won't fall on the floor again."
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« Reply #96 on: March 29, 2018, 2:45 AM »

These aren't animals--these are wild quail.   -- President George Bush
(responding at the beginning of a hunting trip to a question of how killing animals fitted in with his goal of a kinder, gentler America)


Marriage: a war in which you sleep with the enemy.
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« Reply #97 on: March 30, 2018, 1:39 AM »

One learns everyday.  Experience is a great teacher.  By experience you learn.  But as I enter office, I'm prepared now.  Obviously, I will be more prepared as time goes on.  I will know more about the office of the presidency.  But I'm prepared now and I will be more prepared as time goes on.         -- Vice President Dan Quayle



A fate worse than death:  to be married alive.
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« Reply #98 on: March 31, 2018, 4:32 AM »


PHOTO OF THE WEEK (POTW)
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"Dillington House (again)"
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« Reply #99 on: April 1, 2018, 6:53 AM »

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."  - Oscar Wilde


The chief cause of divorce is marriage.
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« Reply #100 on: April 2, 2018, 1:11 AM »

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."  - Mark Twain



Love is grand; divorce is twenty grand.
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« Reply #101 on: April 3, 2018, 1:55 AM »

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it."  - Moses Hadas



I still miss my ex-wife - but my aim is improving.
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« Reply #102 on: April 4, 2018, 3:03 AM »

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."   - Clarence Darrow


I used to be married.  Now I just lease.
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« Reply #103 on: April 5, 2018, 5:22 AM »

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."  - Winston Churchill


Husbands, like fires, go out if unattended.
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« Reply #104 on: April 6, 2018, 2:49 AM »

"He had delusions of adequacy."  - Walter Kerr


3 wives/polygamy; 2 wives/bigamy; 1 wife/monotony.
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« Reply #105 on: April 7, 2018, 7:06 AM »


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"Strummin'"
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« Reply #106 on: April 8, 2018, 5:13 AM »

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination."  - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)


NASA scientists were contracted by top men of the NBA to cryogenically preserve basketball great Kareem Abdul Jabaar.  The NBA hoped that in the future they will be able to synthetically reproduce him and sell Kareems to the highest bidder.  It was all very hush-hush and known as Project Ice Kareem Clone.
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« Reply #107 on: April 9, 2018, 3:11 AM »

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."  - Oscar Wilde


The following quotes from accident reports to insurance companies were  published in the Toronto Sun, July 26, 1977.
"A truck backed through my windshield and into my wife's face."
"The pedestrian had no idea which direction to go, so I ran over him."
"I had been driving my car for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and  had an accident."
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« Reply #108 on: April 10, 2018, 1:08 AM »

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."  - Mae West


The following quotes from accident reports to insurance companies were  published in the Toronto Sun, July 26, 1977.
"I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and  headed over the embankment."
"I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint  gave way causing me to have an accident."
"A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
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« Reply #109 on: April 11, 2018, 3:34 AM »

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?"  - Mark Twain


The following quotes from accident reports to insurance companies were  published in the Toronto Sun, July 26, 1977.
"The guy was all over the road; I had to swerve a number of times before I hit  him."
"An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle, and vanished."
"To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian."
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« Reply #110 on: April 12, 2018, 2:36 AM »

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.."  - Forrest Tucker

The following quotes from accident reports to insurance companies were  published in the Toronto Sun, July 26, 1977.
"I saw the slow moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off the hood of  my car."
"The telephone pole was approaching fast. I was attempting to swerve out of  its path, when it struck my front end."
"I did not stop at the scene of the accident as I thought I was dead at the  time.  My wife had told me not to be late also."
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« Reply #111 on: April 13, 2018, 1:06 AM »

"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily."  - Charles, Count Talleyrand


Two fishermen are out on the lake in a boat they had rented at the dock. After an hour or so, they drift over a deep hole and start catching fish faster than they ever had before in their lives.  This goes on for a while until one of them pulls a large piece of chalk out of his tackle box and draws a large "X" in the bottom of the boat.   "What did you do that for?", asks the other one.   "So we can find this spot again!" is the reply.   "That's the dumbest thing I ever heard", says his buddy, "How do you  know we'll get the SAME boat next time?"
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« Reply #112 on: April 14, 2018, 3:53 AM »


PHOTO OF THE WEEK (POTW)
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"Pairing off"
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« Reply #113 on: April 15, 2018, 1:32 AM »

'He has Van Gogh's ear for music.'  - Billy Wilder


Classifying technicians; the lower the number, the better.
7   Bill, the village idiot.     
Bill is totally incompetant.  The only reason he is working is because he is
1) married to the boss's ugliest daughter,
2) the boss's son or
3) the son of the boss's boss.
You might as well kiss your computer goodbye once it gets into Bill's hands.

6   Mr. Rent-a-tech.
Mr. Rent-a-tech is the guy who gets contracted out by a company to fix computers. Mr. Rent-a-tech is called in when you live outside of the manufacturer rep's service area. Mr. Rent-a-tech is really Captain Hammer or Pop in disguise.  He's likely never seen a computer like yours before and doesn't even know how to take it apart.  He'll usually spend a few days making your computer unrepairable.  With your luck, the warranty will run out just before he is done with your machine.

5   Captain Hammer
Captain Hammer used to be a mechanic.  Captain Hammer never goes anywhere without his claw hammer.  He uses his trusty hammer to seat expansion cards so they will never come out and to pound in those pesky chips which are trying to unseat themselves.  While clawing out an expansion card or memory chip, he can sometimes remove the slot or chip socket from the motherboard at no extra cost.  He usually finishes off your computer by yanking it off your desk because he snagged his coat on one of the new nails protruding from your case.

4   Pop from Mom and Pop's 'puters
Good old Pop really tries but he really doesn't know a thing about computers.  He jiggles boards around just to see if they are loose while the computer is still powered up.  He'll even pull boards out and reseat them while the machine is running.  Some of the expansion boards in your computer will end up in the wrong slots - 8 bit cards in 32 or 16 bit slots and 16 and 32 bit cards placed in 8 bit slots.

3   Try everything Fred.
Try everything Fred tries everything he can think of which is not related to the problem just in case.  Unfortunately, Fred does not know how to properly re-connect things.  So expect your hard drive to be connected to your floppy controller and your floppy drive connected to your ESDI controller.  He'll even plug things in backwards just because itís easier to plug them in his way.

2   The guy from XT's R Us
This guy knows only a little bit about computers.  He'll low level format your hard drive at a 4:1 interleave factor that will make it slower than a CD-ROM drive.  Basically, he got his training from an institution which advertises on the backs of matchbooks and in Popular Mechanics.  Any replacement ram chips he stuffs into your machine are likely from some old XT.

1   Dr. Fixit.
Dr. Fixit really knows how to fix computers.  Too bad for you he is never around when you need him.  Dr. Fixit, never stays long with the outfit he works at, this is because he usually finds someone who will pay him better for his talents than his current employer.
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« Reply #114 on: April 16, 2018, 12:39 AM »

'They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge.'  - Thomas Brackett Reed


A saintly-looking old fellow was running to catch the bus.  Just as he appeared to be winning the race, the bus driver with a fiendish smirk, pulled way from the curb and the wheels splashed muddy water over the old man.   Softly, the old gentleman murmured, "May his soul find peace."  Still, more softly, he added, "And the sooner the better."
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« Reply #115 on: April 17, 2018, 1:32 AM »

'He has the attention span of a lightning bolt.'  - Robert Redford


Victor Borge told a friend that he could tell time by his piano.  His friend was incredulous, so Borge volunteered to demonstrate.  He pounded out a crashing march.  Immediately there came a banging on the wall and a shrill voice screamed, "Stop that noise.  Don't you know it's 1:30 in the morning?"
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« Reply #116 on: April 19, 2018, 3:19 AM »

'There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure.'  - Jack E. Leonard


A tramp looking for a handout in a picturesque old English village stopped by a pub bearing the classic name "St. George and the Dragon."   
"Please, Ma'am, could you spare me a bite to eat?" he asked the lady who answered his knock on the kitchen door.   
"A bite to eat?  For a no-good bum, a beggar?  No!" she snapped. "Why don't you work for your living like an honest man?  Go away."   
Halfway down the path the tramp stopped, eyed the words "St George and the Dragon," then turned back and knocked again.  "Now what do you want?" the lady asked angrily.   
"Please, Ma'am, he replied, "If St. George is in too, may I speak with him this time?"
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« Reply #117 on: April 20, 2018, 11:47 AM »

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."  - Groucho Marx


A high-school student asked his father to help him write a composition on how wars start.
"Well, now, let's suppose we got into a quarrel with Canada," the father began.
"That's ridiculous," his mother interrupted. "Why should we quarrel with Canada?"
"That's beside the point," her husband said, "I was merely using an example."
"If you had an ounce of brains you wouldn't make such stupid...", replied the mother.
"Who do you think you're talking to?" shouted the father. "I want to teach my son...."
"YOUR son!" the mother screamed. "I suppose I had nothing to do with his being here. You just found him someplace...."
"Please, folks," the boy pleaded.  "Forget it.  I just figured it out for myself."
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« Reply #118 on: April 21, 2018, 5:57 AM »


PHOTO OF THE WEEK (POTW)
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"Cliveden Clock"
by BigAl






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« Reply #119 on: April 22, 2018, 10:46 AM »

A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."
"That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."



Perturbed over the absenteeism of his parishioners at the worship services, a minister handed his secretary some church stationery, a list of ten members who were absent the most often and asked her to write each of them a letter concerning their absence.  Within a few days the minister received a letter from a prominent physician who apologized profusely for having been absent so often.  He enclosed a check for $1000 to cover contributions he would have made had he been present those many times, promised to be there the following Sunday at church service and, further, to be there every Sunday thereafter unless providentially hindered.  The usual complimentary closing with his signature was given.  However, the following note was at the bottom of the page: "P.S. Please tell your secretary there is only one "t" in dirty and no "c" in skunk."
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« Reply #120 on: April 24, 2018, 1:10 AM »

The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor:
She said, "If you were my husband I'd give you poison."
He said, "Madam, if you were my wife, I'd drink it."


A girl borrowed the family car for a date and wrecked it.  Later, her boyfriend asked "What did your father say about our car accident?"   
"Do you want me to leave out the bad words?"   
"Yes."   
"He didn't say anything."
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« Reply #121 on: April 25, 2018, 12:47 AM »

'A modest little person, with much to be modest about. '  - Winston Churchill


Two Scotsmen, Two Irishmen and Two Englishmen are shipwrecked on a desert island.  Ten years later the Scots have opened a brewery and are selling beer to the other four, the Irish have divided the island in half and are spending their time shooting at each other, and the English are still waiting to be formally introduced.
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« Reply #122 on: April 27, 2018, 2:45 AM »

'He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.'  - Abraham Lincoln


This countryís greatest problem is apathy.  But who cares?
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« Reply #123 on: April 28, 2018, 3:25 PM »


PHOTO OF THE WEEK (POTW)
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"Serenity"
by Ian Clamp






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« Reply #124 on: April 29, 2018, 6:33 AM »

  Congratulations Ian  Thumb Up Well done
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« Reply #125 on: May 4, 2018, 1:22 AM »

I say to the nation "Become a TOG and be twice the person you are now" - full wits!  - Alan Ternshow
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« Reply #126 on: May 5, 2018, 5:52 AM »


PHOTO OF THE WEEK (POTW)
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"Red in The Rain"
by Fatman75






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« Reply #127 on: May 10, 2018, 1:10 AM »

Did you hear about the movie company that put up a movie set on a highway in California?   
Part of the set was a false filling station. The filling station looked so realistic that people passing by would stop their cars to buy gas.  A couple of stage hands decided to have a little fun when the cameras weren't running.  Whenever an unsuspecting motorist would pull up to the false station, the stage hands would act like they were filling the car with gas.  Then they would tell the motorist that because of a special promotion the gas that day was free. The motorist would drive out of the station with a big smile on his face that probably stayed there right up until the moment she or he ran out of gas.
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« Reply #128 on: May 11, 2018, 12:54 AM »

A fellow went to the hospital for a complete check-up, very depressed, and said to the doctor, "I look in the mirror, I'm a mess.  My jowls are sagging.  I have blotches all over my face.  My hair has fallen out.  I feel ugly.  What is it?"  And the doctor said, "I don't know what it is, but your eyesight is perfect."
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« Reply #129 on: May 12, 2018, 1:05 PM »


PHOTO OF THE WEEK (POTW)
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"Sheeba Khan"
by Fatman75






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« Reply #130 on: May 14, 2018, 1:33 AM »

It seems there was this fellow Earl who went to visit his friend Lester, who lived way back in the woods.  Lester was out on the porch just feverously scrubbing away, washing clothes.  Earl asked him what he was doing to which he replied, "Oh, my wife is off visiting kinfolk, and left me with the young- uns.  I've been busier than all git-out with the chores, and laundry, and setch!  And these diapers are the worst!  I'm plum wore out trying to keep them washed!"  Earl says "why don't you try some of those disposable diapers?" Lester, says "disposable?  what're them?" Earle tells him "Oh, Man, that's just what you need.  You get them at the store, they've got tape already on them, you just slap them on the baby, and the best part is when they get dirty, you just throw them away!" Well Lester was interested in anything that would save him so he said he'd give them a try.   About a week or so later, Earl goes back to vistit Lester, and sees him sitting in the rocking chair, feet propped up, sipping on a cold brew. Lester says "hey Earl, thanks for telling me about them disposable diaper!  I got me a bunch of 'em and now I've got time to relax, even do a little fishin'!" About that time, the baby come crawling out on the porch.  The diaper is FULL; it's even oozing out the sides. Earl says "Phew!  Lester, don't you think it's about time to change the baby?"   Lester replies "Aw don't worry - it saws right there on the box, them things are good for 10-12 pounds!"
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« Reply #131 on: May 15, 2018, 12:33 AM »

Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
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« Reply #132 on: May 16, 2018, 1:19 AM »

I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
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« Reply #133 on: May 17, 2018, 12:27 AM »

There is a great need for a "sarcasm" font.
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« Reply #134 on: May 19, 2018, 5:05 AM »


PHOTO OF THE WEEK (POTW)
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"Sleepy"
by Fatman75






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« Reply #135 on: May 22, 2018, 1:05 AM »

Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and realize that I had no idea what was going on when I first saw it.
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« Reply #136 on: May 23, 2018, 1:28 AM »

I would rather try to carry five plastic bags full of groceries in each hand than make two trips to bring the groceries in.
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« Reply #137 on: May 24, 2018, 2:25 AM »

George Carlin said many years ago:  "Scientists have just discovered a cure for apathy.  However, no one has shown the slightest interest."
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Photographers should never fall out over a small TIFF.
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« Reply #138 on: May 25, 2018, 3:44 AM »

If you can't say something funny about someone, don't say anything at all.
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Photographers should never fall out over a small TIFF.
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« Reply #139 on: May 26, 2018, 4:54 PM »


PHOTO OF THE WEEK (POTW)
for May 20th to 26th


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"Downpour"
by Fatman75






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Photographers should never fall out over a small TIFF.
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« Reply #140 on: May 31, 2018, 3:08 AM »

I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
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Photographers should never fall out over a small TIFF.
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« Reply #141 on: June 2, 2018, 6:20 AM »


PHOTO OF THE WEEK (POTW)
for May 27th to June 2nd


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"juvenile Anna's Hummingbirds"
by droll13






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« Reply #142 on: June 4, 2018, 2:59 AM »

Was learning to write in cursive really necessary?!?
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« Reply #143 on: June 5, 2018, 12:46 AM »

I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
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« Reply #144 on: June 7, 2018, 3:27 AM »

How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?
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« Reply #145 on: June 10, 2018, 5:50 AM »

I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front.  Drivers, stay strong out there!
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« Reply #146 on: June 10, 2018, 6:07 AM »


PHOTO OF THE WEEK (POTW)
for June 3rd to 9th


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"Curious"
by Highcloud






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« Reply #147 on: June 11, 2018, 1:01 AM »

MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5.  I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood and even out of town.
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« Reply #148 on: June 12, 2018, 1:41 AM »

Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they had to tell you how the person died.
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Photographers should never fall out over a small TIFF.
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« Reply #149 on: June 17, 2018, 4:18 AM »


PHOTO OF THE WEEK (POTW)
for June 10th to 16th


WINNER!!


"Lamborghini Bling"
by droll13






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« Reply #150 on: June 20, 2018, 3:08 AM »

Bad decisions make good stories.
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« Reply #151 on: June 21, 2018, 2:37 AM »

You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
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« Reply #152 on: June 22, 2018, 1:42 AM »

Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs?  I don't want to have to restart my collection yet again!
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« Reply #153 on: June 23, 2018, 3:16 PM »

Too late, if you've started a Blu-Ray collection. Wink
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The power of coercion stops at the ability and the willingness of the coerced to take the penalty for disobedience. The power of love has no such limit.
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« Reply #154 on: June 24, 2018, 3:24 AM »

I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I didn't make any changes to.
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Photographers should never fall out over a small TIFF.
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« Reply #155 on: June 24, 2018, 3:25 AM »


PHOTO OF THE WEEK (POTW)
for June 17th to 23rd


WINNER!!


"Bee in a poppy"
by dhandjh






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BigAl
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« Reply #156 on: July 1, 2018, 3:48 AM »

Following the recent lack of voting, our team (Hatter, ChrisAnn and myself) have agreed amongst ourselves that there is now insufficient interest in the 'Star' voting to make the Crackers voting realistic.

As from now, the Star Ratings system is suspended and any 'star votes' cast will be ignored.
You can still post images and make comments on them, but the only award that you can give a photo is a nicely worded "Well Done."

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Photographers should never fall out over a small TIFF.
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