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Author Topic: Coffee Counter 2016  (Read 32669 times)
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BigAl
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« Reply #20 on: January 14, 2016, 2:33 AM »

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me: they're cramming for their final exam.
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« Reply #21 on: January 15, 2016, 2:39 AM »

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
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« Reply #22 on: January 16, 2016, 4:17 AM »

If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
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« Reply #23 on: January 17, 2016, 11:48 AM »

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
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« Reply #24 on: January 17, 2016, 11:08 PM »

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me: they're cramming for their final exam.

I sprang this one in Bible study today.  (They loved it.)
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The power of coercion stops at the ability and the willingness of the coerced to take the penalty for disobedience. The power of love has no such limit.
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« Reply #25 on: January 17, 2016, 11:11 PM »

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

In my case, computers are more productive of colorful language, both in frequency and intensity.
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The power of coercion stops at the ability and the willingness of the coerced to take the penalty for disobedience. The power of love has no such limit.
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« Reply #26 on: January 19, 2016, 3:08 AM »

No one ever says, "It's only a game" when their team is winning.
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« Reply #27 on: January 20, 2016, 3:28 AM »

Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
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« Reply #28 on: January 21, 2016, 1:58 AM »

Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
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« Reply #29 on: January 22, 2016, 3:40 AM »

If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
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« Reply #30 on: January 23, 2016, 3:17 AM »

Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?
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« Reply #31 on: January 24, 2016, 9:17 AM »


Letters Of Recommendations For Employees


For the chronically absent:
"A man like him is hard to find."
"It seemed his career was just taking off."

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« Reply #32 on: January 25, 2016, 3:21 AM »


Letters Of Recommendations For Employees


For the office drunk:
"I feel his real talent is wasted here."
"He is always happiest when loaded with work to do."

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« Reply #33 on: January 26, 2016, 4:17 AM »

Letters Of Recommendations For Employees

For an employee with no ambition:
"He could not care less about the number of hours he had to put in."
"You would indeed be fortunate to get this person to work for you."
"He consistently achieves the standards he sets for himself."

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« Reply #34 on: January 27, 2016, 3:35 AM »


Letters Of Recommendations For Employees


For an employee who is so unproductive that the job is better left unfilled:
"I can assure you that no person would be better for the job."

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« Reply #35 on: January 28, 2016, 4:46 AM »


Letters Of Recommendations For Employees


For an employee who is not worth further consideration as a job candidate:
"I would urge you to waste no time in making this candidate an offer of employment.
All in all, I cannot say enough good things about this candidate or recommend him too highly."
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« Reply #36 on: January 29, 2016, 3:22 AM »

Never trust atoms they are always making things up.
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« Reply #37 on: January 30, 2016, 4:42 AM »

You Know You're From North Carolina If......

* Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway. (or waiting for a train!)
* Vacation means going to the family reunion.
* You measure distance in minutes.

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« Reply #38 on: January 30, 2016, 5:16 PM »

Like you FED EX and UPS joke, Al!  Smiley
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« Reply #39 on: January 31, 2016, 5:25 AM »

You Know You're From North Carolina If......

* You know several people who have hit a deer.
* Your school classes were canceled because of cold.
* Your school classes were canceled because of heat.

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