Photography Cafe

Introductions! Let's get to know each other! => Coffee Counter => Topic started by: BigAl on January 1, 2017, 2:30 AM



Title: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on January 1, 2017, 2:30 AM

Photo Of The Month for December

During the previous month you have seen some wonderful POTDs. Now it is your chance to cast up to three votes for one of these to become the POTM for December 2016

Just go to this link - http://www.photography-cafe.com/forum/index.php?topic=26060.0 and pick your winner(s).

Alan...:)


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on January 1, 2017, 5:45 AM
How do you know when you're staying in a Georgia hotel?
When you call the front desk and say, "I gotta leak in my sink," and the front desk replies, "Go ahead."


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on January 3, 2017, 1:13 AM
How can you tell if a Tennessee redneck is married?
There is dried tobacco juice on both sides of his pickup truck.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on January 4, 2017, 3:43 AM
Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age in West Virginia to 32?
It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools!


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on January 5, 2017, 5:49 PM

Photo Of The Month for December

Just a reminder that (if you haven't done so already) there is still a chance to cast up to three votes for one of last month's POTDs to become the POTM for December 2016

Just go to this link - http://www.photography-cafe.com/forum/index.php?topic=26060.0 and pick your winner(s).

Alan...:)


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on January 6, 2017, 3:51 AM
Where was the toothbrush invented? Mississippi.
If it was invented anywhere else, it would have been called a teethbrush.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on January 7, 2017, 3:40 AM
A Georgia State trooper pulls over a pickup on I-75 and says to the driver, "Got any I.D.?"
The driver replies "Bout wut?"


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on January 8, 2017, 4:10 AM

PHOTO OF THE MONTH
FOR DECEMBER
 

WINNER!!

(http://photography-cafe.com/images/rib1.gif)
"It's Groyn on me"
by Ian Clamp


(http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/albums/userpics/IANC9413.jpg) (http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/displayimage.php?pos=-103693)



Click on the photo to go to Ian's album and leave a comment.


BigAl    :thumbup:


We all love comments! :)


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on January 9, 2017, 12:39 AM
Did you hear about the $3 million Arkansas State Lottery?
The winner gets $3 a year for a million years.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on January 10, 2017, 4:18 AM
Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Alabama burned down?
Yep. Pert' near took out the whole trailer park. The library was a total loss, too. Both books - poof! - up in flames and he hadn't even finished coloring one of them.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on January 11, 2017, 2:49 AM
A new law recently passed in West Virginia: When a couple gets divorced, they're STILL brother and sister.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on January 12, 2017, 3:15 AM
Dear Abby:
My husband is a lying cheat. He tells me he loves me, but he has cheated our entire marriage. He is a good provider and has many friends and supporters. They know he is a lying cheat, but they just avoid the issue. He is a hard worker but many of his co-workers are leery of him. Every time he gets caught, he denies it all. Then he admits that he was wrong and begs me to forgive him. This has been going on for so long, everyone in town knows he is a cheat. I don't know what to do.
Signed, Frustrated

 Dear Frustrated:
You should dump him. Now that you are finally a New York Senator, you don't need him anymore.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on January 13, 2017, 4:04 AM
A man in his back yard is trying to fly a kite. He throws the kite up in the air, the wind catches it for a few seconds then it comes crashing back down. He tries this a few more times all the while his wife is watching from the kitchen window, muttering to herself how men need to be told how to do everything.
She opens the window and yells to her husband, "You need more tail."
The man turns with a confused look on his face and says, "Make up your mind, last night you told me to go fly a kite."


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on January 14, 2017, 3:44 AM
Fat Theology

And God populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow vegetable of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives. And Satan created McDonald's. And McDonald's brought forth the 99-cent double-cheeseburger. And Satan said to Man, "You want fries with that?"
And Man said, "Super size them." And Man gained pounds.

And God created the healthful yogurt, that woman might keep her figure that man found so fair. [/color
And Satan brought forth chocolate. And woman gained pounds.

And God said, "Try my crispy fresh salad."
And Satan brought forth ice cream. And woman gained pounds.

And God said, "I have sent your heart healthy vegetables and olive oil with which to cook them."
And Satan brought forth chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter.

And Man gained pounds and his bad cholesterol went through the roof.

And God brought forth running shoes and Man resolved to lose those extra pounds.
And Satan brought forth cable TV with remote control so Man would not have to toil to change channels between ESPN and ESPN2.
And Man gained pounds.

And God said, "You're running up the score, Devil."

And God brought forth the potato, a vegetable naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition.
And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fat fried them. And he created sour cream dip also. And Man clutched his remote control and ate the potato chips swaddled in cholesterol.
And Satan saw and said, "It is good."

And Man went into cardiac arrest.
And God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.
And Satan created HMOs.



Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on January 14, 2017, 3:51 AM

PHOTO OF THE WEEK
FOR January 8th to 14th
 

WINNER!!

(http://photography-cafe.com/images/rib1.gif)
"Gullfoss Upper Falls"
by Dee Langevin


(http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/albums/userpics/7248_GullfossUpperFalls.jpg) (http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/displayimage.php?pos=-103713)



Click on the photo to go to Dee's album and leave a comment.


BigAl    :thumbup:


We all love comments! :)



Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: scoundrel1728 on January 14, 2017, 4:08 PM
Question: If God waited until next to the final paragraph to bring forth potatoes, which Satan promptly corrupted into potato chips (crisps) with sour cream dip, then When Satan asked "Do you want fries with that [99-cent MacDonalds double cheeseburger]?" what were the fries made from?  Just asking.  ;D


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on January 15, 2017, 11:32 AM
Origin of phrases
1. In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase "goodnight, sleep tight".


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on January 16, 2017, 3:20 AM
Origin of phrases
2. It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the! wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month or what we know today as the honeymoon.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on January 17, 2017, 1:25 AM
Origin of phrases
3. In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts. So in old England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them mind their own pints and quarts and settle down. It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's and Q's"


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on January 18, 2017, 2:05 AM
Origin of phrases
4. Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim or handle of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. "Wet your whistle" is the phrase inspired by this practice.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on January 19, 2017, 2:50 AM
Origin of phrases
5. In Scotland, a new game was invented. It was entitled Gentlemen Only Ladies Forbidden and thus the word GOLF entered into the English language.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on January 20, 2017, 2:37 AM
After getting nailed by a Daisy Cutter, Osama Bin Laden made his way to the pearly gates.

There, he is greeted by George Washington. "How dare you attack the nation I helped conceive!" yells Mr. Washington, slapping Osama in the face.

Patrick Henry comes up from behind. "You wanted to end the Americans' liberty, so they gave you death!" Henry punches Osama on the nose.

James Madison comes up next, and says "This is why I allowed the Federal government to provide for the common defense!" He drops a large weight on Osama's knee.

Monroe, and 65 other people who have the same love for liberty and America take their turns. As he writhes on the ground, Thomas Jefferson picks him up to hurl him back toward the gate where he is to be judged.

As Osama awaits his journey to his final very hot destination, he screams "This is not what I was promised!"

An angel replies "I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you, Dumb Ass. What did you think I said?"


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on January 21, 2017, 4:28 AM

PHOTO OF THE WEEK (POTW)
for January 15th to January 21st
 

WINNER!!

(http://photography-cafe.com/images/rib1.gif)
"Mull"
by Scuff


(http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/albums/userpics/mull.jpg) (http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/displayimage.php?pos=-103731)



Click on the photo to go to Graham's album and leave a comment.


BigAl    :thumbup:


We all love comments! :)


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on January 21, 2017, 5:09 AM
Q: How do you know if a Chinese person robs your house?

A: Your homework is done, your computer is upgraded, but two hours later, the guy is still trying to back out of your driveway.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on January 22, 2017, 3:28 AM
A Quiz - Passing requires 8 correct answers.
   No cheating by looking up on the internet.
1. How long did the Hundred Years War last?
2. Which country makes Panama hats?
3. From which animal do we get catgut?
4. In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
5. What is a camel's hair brush made of?
6. The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what creatures?
7. What was King George VI's first name?
8. What color is a purple finch?
9. Where are Chinese gooseberries from?
10. How long did the Thirty Years War last?

Answers tomorrow


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on January 23, 2017, 12:34 AM
Answers:

1. 116 years, 1337 to 1453.
2. Ecuador, originally shipped to the Isthmus of Panama for export to Asia.
3. Sheep or goat intestines, but occasionally the intestines of cattle, hogs, horses, mules, or donkeys. Catgut is also a perennial subshrub of eastern North America.
4. November, October, 1917 in the old style Russian calendar.
5. Goat, Ox or Squirrel fur, it was invented by Meng Tien, a Chinese savant.
6. Dog, Canis is a Latin word meaning dog.
7. Albert, real name Albert Frederick Arthur George.
8. NOT purple, male Purple Finches are delicate pink-red on the head and breast, mixing with brown on the back and cloudy white on the belly. Female Purple Finches have no red.
9. New Zealand, although the climbing shrub, Actinidia chinensis, is native to China, the cultivated fruit was commercially grown in New Zealand.
10. Thirty years, 1618 to 1648  - the only obvious right answer.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: Stephen on January 23, 2017, 5:57 AM
Re question 8. Could you tell me whereabouts in the Pacific the Canary Islands are? I knew that the Atlantic ones were named after dogs, and I have found a Google reference that the Pacific ones were named after canaries (!) but nowhere have I found where they are. Not even Google Earth has helped me. I'd prefer not to have to dig out my gazetteers and atlases if it's easy to get an answer by just asking.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on January 23, 2017, 7:39 AM
Re question 8. Could you tell me whereabouts in the Pacific the Canary Islands are?

I just copied the block of questions which a guy in America sent me and didn't stop to check it out properly. You are right to question it because there are no Canary Islands in the Pacific. The Spanish "Islands of Dogs" are in the North Atlantic Ocean.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on January 24, 2017, 1:02 AM
WHAT DOES "WD-40" STAND FOR?
WD-40 literally stands for "Water Displacement, 40th attempt". That's the name straight out of the lab book used by the chemist who developed WD-40 back in 1953. The chemist, Norm Larsen, was attempting to concoct a formula to prevent corrosion--a task which is done by displacing water. Norm's persistence paid off when he perfected the formula on his 40th try.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on January 25, 2017, 3:15 AM
 WHY IS THE PITCHER'S MOUND 60 FEET SIX INCHES FROM THE HOME PLATE?
Until 1893, the pitcher's mound was 50 feet from home plate. Pitchers were having a relatively easy time tossing fast balls and strikes, and the game was becoming a bore. Thus, officials decided to move the mound back 10 feet. A diagram showing a distance of 60' 0" was presented to a surveyor, who was supposed to map out new fields. Unfortunately, the surveyor misread the diagram as showing 60' 6", and designed the new field accordingly. The blueprints and several new mounds were finished before the error was noticed, so the measurement remained.



Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on January 26, 2017, 3:25 AM
WHY ATHLETES CAN'T HAVE REAL JOBS

New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season: "I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on January 27, 2017, 1:44 AM
WHY ATHLETES CAN'T HAVE REAL JOBS

Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann, 1996: "Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on January 28, 2017, 3:23 AM
WHY ATHLETES CAN'T HAVE REAL JOBS

Upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the 'Skins say: "I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl," Matt Millen of the Raiders said: "To win, I'd run over Joe's Mom, too."


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on January 28, 2017, 3:24 AM

PHOTO OF THE WEEK (POTW)
for January 22nd to January 28th
 

WINNER!!

(http://photography-cafe.com/images/rib1.gif)
"Wintery wonderland"
by Ian Clamp


(http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/albums/userpics/IANC9800.jpg) (http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/displayimage.php?pos=-103761)



Click on the photo to go to Ian's album and leave a comment.


BigAl    :thumbup:


We all love comments! :)


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on January 29, 2017, 3:30 AM
WHY ATHLETES CAN'T HAVE REAL JOBS

Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins: "He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings."


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on January 30, 2017, 2:00 AM
WHY ATHLETES CAN'T HAVE REAL JOBS

Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model: "I wan all them kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan all the kids to copulate me."


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on January 31, 2017, 2:21 AM
WHY ATHLETES CAN'T HAVE REAL JOBS

Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh: "I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes."


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on February 1, 2017, 2:27 AM
WHY ATHLETES CAN'T HAVE REAL JOBS

Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach: "You guys line up alphabetically by height."
And "You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle."


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on February 2, 2017, 1:23 AM
WHY ATHLETES CAN'T HAVE REAL JOBS

Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson hooking up again with promoter Don King: "Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton."


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on February 3, 2017, 1:48 AM
WHY ATHLETES CAN'T HAVE REAL JOBS

Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker: "That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes."


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on February 4, 2017, 3:31 AM
WHY ATHLETES CAN'T HAVE REAL JOBS

Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regime of heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is."


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on February 4, 2017, 3:40 AM

PHOTO OF THE WEEK (POTW)
for January 29th to Feb 4th
 

WINNER!!

(http://photography-cafe.com/images/rib1.gif)
"Red-Billed Woodpecker"
by Tusker


(http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/albums/userpics/DSC_9169.jpg) (http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/displayimage.php?pos=-103800)



Click on the photo to go to Tusker's album and leave a comment.


BigAl    :thumbup:


We all love comments! :)


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on February 5, 2017, 3:15 AM
WHY ATHLETES CAN'T HAVE REAL JOBS

Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice: "My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt."


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on February 6, 2017, 2:45 AM
WHY ATHLETES CAN'T HAVE REAL JOBS

Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player: "I told him,'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.'"


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on February 7, 2017, 1:56 AM
WHY ATHLETES CAN'T HAVE REAL JOBS

Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a player who received four F's and one D: "Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject."


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on February 8, 2017, 1:59 AM
WHY ATHLETES CAN'T HAVE REAL JOBS

Oiler coach Bum Phillips when asked by Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all the road trips, Phillips responded: "Because she is too dadgum ugly to kiss good-bye."


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on February 9, 2017, 2:47 AM
A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."
The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon approximately 30 feet above ground elevation of 2346 feet above sea level. You are 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.
She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be a Republican." "I am," replied the man. "How did you know?" "Well," answered the balloonist, "Everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me."
The man smiled and responded, "You must be a Democrat."
"I am," replied the balloonist. "How did you know?"
"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you're going. You've risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and you expect ME to solve your problem. You're in EXACTLY the same position you were in before we met, but somehow now, it's MY fault!"


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on February 10, 2017, 12:30 AM

In a recent interview, General Norman Schwartzkopf was asked if he didn't think there was room for forgiveness toward the people who have harboured and abetted the terrorists who perpetrated the 9/11 attacks on America.

His answer: "I believe that forgiving them is God's function. Our job is simply to arrange the meeting."


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: RockArea on February 10, 2017, 8:50 AM
Here's our new mini challenge for you!


Wide Angle Challenge #2 - Leading Lines

The Wide Angle Challenge is intended for people who enjoy using the wide end of their lens or would like to experiment and learn more about it.

This is where we share our images and encourage all our members to vote for the ones they enjoy most.

To go straight to the page to see more details


~Click Here~ (http://www.photography-cafe.com/forum/index.php?topic=26172.0
;topicseen)


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on February 11, 2017, 2:50 AM
Rules of Life
1. Never give yourself a haircut after three margaritas.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: Hatter on February 11, 2017, 4:29 AM

PHOTO OF THE WEEK (POTW)
for February 5th to Feb 11th
 

WINNER!!

(http://photography-cafe.com/images/rib1.gif)
"Steps in the Castle Courtyard"
by Highcloud


(http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/albums/userpics/IMGP0051-Edit-Edit_tonemapped.jpg) (http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/displayimage.php?pos=-103814)



Click on the photo to go to Highcloud's album and leave a comment.


BigAl    :thumbup:


We all love comments! :)



Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on February 13, 2017, 3:06 AM
Rules of Life
2. You need only two tools. WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the tape.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on February 14, 2017, 2:20 AM
Rules of Life
3. The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship "I apologize" and "You are right."


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on February 15, 2017, 3:05 AM
Rules of Life
4. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on February 16, 2017, 2:40 AM
Rules of Life
5. When you make a mistake, make amends immediately. It's easier to eat crow while it's still warm.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on February 17, 2017, 2:21 AM
Rules of Life
6. The only really good advice that your mother ever gave you was, "Go! You might meet somebody!"


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on February 18, 2017, 2:59 AM

PHOTO OF THE WEEK (POTW)
for February 12th to 18th
 

WINNER!!

(http://photography-cafe.com/images/rib1.gif)
"Gazania"
by droll13


(http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/albums/userpics/POSTED---2017-02-08_maybe-Gazania-in-rain_IMG_1143-c01-m01_700s-72.jpg) (http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/displayimage.php?pos=-103828)



Click on the photo to go to Dave's album and leave a comment.


BigAl    :thumbup:


We all love comments! :)


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on February 18, 2017, 3:07 AM
Rules of Life
7. If he/she says that you are too good for him/her--believe them.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on February 19, 2017, 3:50 AM
Rules of Life
8. Learn to pick your battles; ask yourself, 'Will this matter one year from now? How about one month? One week? One day?'


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on February 20, 2017, 1:08 AM
Rules of Life
9. Never pass up an opportunity to pee.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on February 21, 2017, 12:59 AM
Rules of Life
10. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on February 22, 2017, 2:51 AM
Rules of Life
11. Living well really is the best revenge. Being miserable because of a bad or former relationship just might mean that the other person was right about you.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on February 23, 2017, 2:34 AM
Rules of Life
12. Work is good, but it's not that important.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on February 24, 2017, 2:32 AM
Rules of Life:   And finally...
13. Be really nice to your friends. You never know when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on February 25, 2017, 4:15 AM
Do you remember?
Stroll with me.... close your eyes.... and go back.... before the Internet.... before semiautomatics and crack.... before SEGA or Super Nintendo.... way back!

I'm talking about sitting on the curb, sitting on the stoop.... about hide-and-go-seek; Simon says and red-light-green-light. Lunch boxes with a thermos.... chocolate milk, going home for lunch, penny candy from the store, hopscotch, butterscotch, skates with keys, jacks and Cracker Jacks, hula hoops and sunflower seeds, wax lips and mustaches, Mary Janes, saddle shoes and Coke bottles with the names of cities on the bottom.
Remember when it took five minutes for the TV to warm up. When nearly everyone's mom was at home when kids got home from school. When nobody owned a purebred dog. When a quarter was a decent allowance. When you'd reach into a muddy gutter for a penny. When your mom wore nylons that came in two pieces. When all of your male teachers wore neckties and female teachers had their hair done everyday and wore high heels.

Remember more tomorrow…


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on February 25, 2017, 4:17 AM

PHOTO OF THE WEEK (POTW)
for February 19th to 25th
 

WINNER!!

(http://photography-cafe.com/images/rib1.gif)
"A Cross in the Mountains"
by Highcloud


(http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/albums/userpics/IMGP1759_Hallstadt_Kreuz-2-2.jpg) (http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/displayimage.php?pos=-103860)



Click on the photo to go to Highcloud's album and leave a comment.


BigAl    :thumbup:


We all love comments! :)


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: scoundrel1728 on February 25, 2017, 2:58 PM

Remember when it took five minutes for the TV to warm up.

I remember.  The TV (telly to our European contingent) took only 20-30 seconds.  I timed it with my older brother's stopwatch.  It only seemed like five minutes.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on February 26, 2017, 4:23 AM
Do you remember?

Running through the sprinkler, circle pins, bobby pins, Mickey Mouse Club, Rocky and Bullwinkle, Kukla, Fran and Ollie, Spin and Marty.... all in black and white.
When around the corner seemed far away and going downtown seemed like going somewhere. Climbing trees, making forts, backyard shows, lemonade stands, cops and robbers, cowboys and Indians, staring at clouds, jumping on the bed, pillow fights, ribbon candy, angel hair on the Christmas tree, Jackie Gleason, white gloves, walking to the movie theater, running till you were out of breath, laughing so hard that your stomach hurt. Not stepping on a crack or you'd break your mother's back.... paper-chains at Christmas, silhouettes of Lincoln and Washington.... the smells of school, of paste and Evening in Paris.
Remember more tomorrow…


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: Chocky on February 26, 2017, 4:10 PM
You seam to have lost a page from the cracker shots . Page Feb 22
Here is a smaller version of the page/thread

[attachimg=#]


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on February 27, 2017, 2:56 AM
Do you remember?

What about the girl who dotted her "i's" with hearts? The Stroll, popcorn balls and sock hops?
Remember when there were two types of sneakers for girls and boys (Keds and PF Flyers) and the only time you wore them at school was for "gym." And the girls had those ugly gym uniforms. When you got your windshield cleaned, oil checked, and gas pumped, without asking - all for free -- every time! And, you didn't pay for air either and, you got trading stamps to boot! When laundry detergent had free glasses, dishes or towels hidden inside the box. When it was considered a great privilege to be taken out to dinner at a real restaurant with your parents. When the worst thing you could do at school was flunk a test or chew gum. And the prom was in the auditorium and you danced to a real orchestra. When they threatened to keep kids back a grade if they failed -- and did!
Remember more tomorrow…


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on February 28, 2017, 1:32 AM
Do you remember?

When being sent to the principal's office was nothing compared to the fate that awaited the student at home. Basically, we were in fear for our lives, but it wasn't because of drive by shootings, drugs, gangs, etc. Our parents and grandparents were a much bigger threat! But we survived because their love was so much greater than the threat.
Remember when a '57 Chevy was everyone's dream car -- used to cruise, peel out, lay rubber or watch submarine races? When people went "steady" and girls wore a class ring with an inch of wrapped Band-Aids, dental floss or yarn coated with pastel-frost nail polish so it would fit their finger.
When no one ever asked where the car keys were because they were always in the car, in the ignition, and the car and house doors were never locked! Remember lying on your back on the grass with your friends and saying things like "That cloud looks like a..... ." And playing baseball with no adults needed to enforce the rules of the game.
Remember more tomorrow…


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on March 1, 2017, 3:28 AM
Do you remember?

When stuff from the store came without safety caps and hermetic seals, because no one had yet tried to poison a perfect stranger.

And, with all our progress; don't you just wish, just once, you could slip back in time and savor the slower pace..... and share it with the children of today? So send this on to someone who can still remember Nancy Drew, The Hardy Boys, Laurel and Hardy, Howdy Doody and The Peanut Gallery, The Lone Ranger, The Shadow Knows, Nellie Belle, Roy and Dale, Trigger and Buttermilk..... as well as the sound of a push mower on Saturday morning, and summers filled with bike rides, baseball games, bowling, visits to the pool.... and eating Kool-Aid powder with sugar from the palm of your hand and my favorite white lipstick, big hair do's and sock hops.

There, didn't that feel good? Just to lean back and say: "Yeah, I remember..."


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on March 2, 2017, 2:54 AM
Four wheel drive: Lets you get more stuck, further from help.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on March 3, 2017, 2:07 AM
I came to MIT to get an education for myself and a diploma for my mother. I can relate to that.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on March 4, 2017, 3:04 AM
This is a day to march forth.

For people who like that kind of book, that is the kind of book they will like.
For those who like this sort of thing, this is the sort of thing they like.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on March 4, 2017, 4:55 AM

PHOTO OF THE WEEK (POTW)
for February 26th to March 4th
 

WINNER!!

(http://photography-cafe.com/images/rib1.gif)
"The Night of the Balloons"
by Highcloud


(http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/albums/userpics/IMGP8375_Pussycat.jpg) (http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/displayimage.php?pos=-103871)



Click on the photo to go to Highcloud's album and leave a comment.


BigAl    :thumbup:


We all love comments! :)


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on March 5, 2017, 4:07 AM
Giving away baby clothes and furniture is the major cause of pregnancy.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: scoundrel1728 on March 5, 2017, 9:45 PM
Giving away baby clothes and furniture is the major cause of pregnancy.

Methinks you may be overdue for a talk about the birds and the bees.  :D


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on March 6, 2017, 2:19 AM
Methinks you may be overdue for a talk about the birds and the bees.  :D

Well I've just done a quick Melittology and Ornithology research and I think I know most things about the birds and bees.

For every action, there is a corresponding over-reaction.  -- Anthony Battista


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on March 7, 2017, 1:02 AM
For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.  -- Harrison


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on March 8, 2017, 2:48 AM
For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.  -- Main


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on March 9, 2017, 1:15 AM
Genius is the infinite capacity for picking brains.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on March 10, 2017, 1:22 AM
Liberal: Someone too poor to be a capitalist and too rich to be a  communist.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on March 11, 2017, 5:36 AM
I am prepared for all emergencies but totally unprepared for everyday life.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on March 11, 2017, 5:36 AM

PHOTO OF THE WEEK (POTW)
for March 5th to March 11th
 

WINNER!!

(http://photography-cafe.com/images/rib1.gif)
"Das Schicksal - Angel of Fate"
by Ian Clamp


(http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/albums/userpics/IANC9947-2.jpg) (http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/displayimage.php?pos=-103875)



Click on the photo to go to Ian's album and leave a comment.


BigAl    :thumbup:


We all love comments! :)


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on March 12, 2017, 5:55 AM
He who is still laughing hasn't yet heard the bad news.  -- Bertolt Brecht


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on March 13, 2017, 3:40 AM
He who laughs last didn't get the joke.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on March 14, 2017, 2:38 AM
God is not dead.  He is alive and autographing Bibles at Cody's!


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on March 15, 2017, 3:35 AM
God is not dead.  He is alive and working on a much less ambitious project.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on March 16, 2017, 3:41 AM
God is not dead.  He just couldn't find a parking place.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on March 17, 2017, 3:39 AM
He who invents adages to peruse takes along rowboat when going on  cruise.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on March 18, 2017, 4:27 AM
He who is content with his lot probably has a lot.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on March 18, 2017, 5:48 AM

PHOTO OF THE WEEK (POTW)
for March 12th to 18th
 

WINNER!!

(http://photography-cafe.com/images/rib1.gif)
"Kingfisher"
by trevor howell


(http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/albums/userpics/IMG_2357.jpg) (http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/displayimage.php?pos=-103889)



Click on the photo to go to Trevor's album and leave a comment.


BigAl    :thumbup:


We all love comments! :)


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on March 19, 2017, 5:22 AM
Life: A brief interlude between nothingness and eternity.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on March 20, 2017, 6:55 AM
I am not as dumb as you look.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on March 21, 2017, 3:47 AM
Logic is an organized way of going wrong with confidence.  -- Kettering


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on March 22, 2017, 3:33 AM
Logic is a little bird, sitting in a tree, that smells AWFUL.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on March 23, 2017, 5:23 AM
Magnocartic: Any automobile that when left unattended attracts shopping  carts.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on March 24, 2017, 3:56 AM
Love means nothing to a tennis player.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on March 25, 2017, 3:53 AM
Make a firm decision now...  you can always change it later.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on March 25, 2017, 3:53 AM

PHOTO OF THE WEEK (POTW)
for March 19th to March 25th
 

WINNER!!

(http://photography-cafe.com/images/rib1.gif)
"Grey Heron "
by Chocky


(http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/albums/userpics/Heron.jpg) (http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/displayimage.php?pos=-103912)



Click on the photo to go to Beryl's album and leave a comment.


BigAl    :thumbup:


We all love comments! :)


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on March 26, 2017, 6:39 AM
Little things come in small packages.  -- Tom Weller


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on March 27, 2017, 2:25 AM
A man who arrives at party two hours late will find he has been beaten to the punch.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on March 28, 2017, 1:34 AM
Four kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and  praiseworthy...


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on March 29, 2017, 1:57 AM
Give me chastity and continence, but not just now.  -- St.  Augustine


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on March 29, 2017, 3:47 AM
Coming This Weekend!

During January, February and March you have been voting for Photo Of The Week.
On Saturday (April 1st) we will be declaring the final POTW of this first quarter and a new poll will be published.
You will get the chance to vote for which one of the 13 POTWs becomes Photo Of The Quarter
POTQ

Make sure you cast your vote.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on March 30, 2017, 1:43 AM
For adult education, nothing beats children.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on March 31, 2017, 2:33 AM
Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly.  -- Voltaire


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on April 1, 2017, 4:12 AM
Majority: That quality that distinguishes a crime from a law.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on April 1, 2017, 4:12 AM

Photo Of The Quarter for Jan,Feb,Mar

During the previous Quarter you have seen some wonderful POTWs. Now it is your chance to cast up to three votes for one of these to become the POTQ for Jan,Feb,Mar 2017

Just go to this link - http://www.photography-cafe.com/forum/index.php?topic=26252.0 and pick your winner(s).

Alan...:)


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on April 2, 2017, 4:13 AM
Marriage is not a word; it is a sentence.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on April 3, 2017, 2:38 AM
Heat expands: In the summer the days are longer.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on April 4, 2017, 3:00 AM
Meeting: A gathering where the minutes are kept and the hours lost.  -- Gourd


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on April 5, 2017, 4:00 AM
Friends: People who know you well, but like you anyway.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on April 6, 2017, 4:13 AM
Man is the only animal that blushes -- or needs to.  -- Mark Twain


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on April 7, 2017, 1:13 AM
Give a skeptic an inch and he'll measure it.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: RockArea on April 7, 2017, 6:08 AM
We're voting!


Wide Angle Challenge #2 - Leading Lines

The Wide Angle Challenge is intended for people who enjoy using the wide end of their lens or would like to experiment and learn more about it.

This is where we share our images and encourage all our members to vote for the ones they enjoy most.

To go straight to the page and start voting


~Click Here~ (http://www.photography-cafe.com/forum/index.php?topic=26172.0
;topicseen)


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on April 8, 2017, 4:26 AM
Marriage is an institution -- but who wants to live in one?


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on April 8, 2017, 4:44 AM

PHOTO OF THE WEEK (POTW)
for April 2nd to April 8th
 

WINNER!!

(http://photography-cafe.com/images/rib1.gif)
"Mute Swan"
by Chocky


(http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/albums/userpics/DSC_0165.jpg) (http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/displayimage.php?pos=-103939)



Click on the photo to go to Beryl's album and leave a comment.


BigAl    :thumbup:


We all love comments! :)


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on April 10, 2017, 2:32 AM
I bet you have never seen a plumber bite his nails.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on April 11, 2017, 1:30 AM
Man has made his bedlam; let him lie in it.  -- Fred Allen


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on April 13, 2017, 3:28 AM
Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on April 14, 2017, 2:09 AM
Give your very best today.  Heaven knows it is little enough.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on April 14, 2017, 2:56 AM

Photo Of The Quarter for Jan,Feb,Mar

Voting closed and there was no clear decision on which POTWs were the best. We need two votes from you to decide which image should go on to be POTQ and which ones deserve to be runner-up.

Just go to this link - http://www.photography-cafe.com/forum/index.php?topic=26252.0 and pick your tie-breakers.

Alan...:)


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on April 15, 2017, 3:54 AM
Moderation is a fatal thing.  Nothing succeeds like excess.  -- Oscar Wilde


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on April 15, 2017, 4:53 AM

PHOTO OF THE WEEK (POTW)
for April 9th to 15th
 

WINNER!!

(http://photography-cafe.com/images/rib1.gif)
"GS Woodpecker"
by trevor howell


(http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/albums/userpics/GS-Woodpecker.jpg) (http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/displayimage.php?pos=-103966)



Click on the photo to go to Trevor's album and leave a comment.


BigAl    :thumbup:


We all love comments! :)


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: Pat on April 15, 2017, 11:44 PM
Great capture!!! 

Congratulations on having Photo of the Week!

Pat... :)


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on April 16, 2017, 4:49 AM
Marriage is the sole cause of divorce.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on April 17, 2017, 1:24 AM
Matter cannot be created or destroyed; nor can it be returned without a  receipt.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: admin on April 17, 2017, 5:46 PM

PHOTO OF THE QUARTER
FOR Jan,Feb,Mar 2017
 

WINNER!!

(http://photography-cafe.com/images/rib1.gif)
"Wintery wonderland"
by Ian Clamp


(http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/albums/userpics/IANC9800.jpg) (http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/displayimage.php?pos=-103761)



Click on the photo to go to Ian Clamp's album and leave a comment.


BigAl    :thumbup:


We all love comments! :)


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on April 18, 2017, 2:55 AM
Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on April 19, 2017, 3:02 AM
Love your enemies; it will make them crazy.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on April 20, 2017, 2:44 AM
Maintain thy airspeed, lest the ground rise up and smite thee.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: BigAl on April 21, 2017, 1:46 AM
Love: The warm feeling you get towards someone who meets your neurotic needs.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: RockArea on April 21, 2017, 6:23 AM

Let's Congratulate the Winners!


Wide Angle Challenge #2 - Leading Lines (http://[center)

The Wide Angle Challenge is intended for people who enjoy using the wide end of their lens or would like to experiment and learn more about it.

This is where we share our images and encourage all our members to vote for the ones they enjoy most.


To go straight to the results

~Click Here~ (http://www.photography-cafe.com/forum/index.php?topic=26296.0
;topicseen)






Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2016
Post by: Pat on April 21, 2017, 9:07 AM
 I sure enjoyed viewing the photos entered for this Challenge David.  And I think that the winner was a very worthy win!!


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on April 22, 2017, 2:03 AM
Handel was half German, half Italian, and half English.  He was rather  large.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on April 23, 2017, 9:30 AM
Matrimony is the root of all evil.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: scoundrel1728 on April 23, 2017, 10:07 PM

Love your enemies; it will make them crazy.

Doing so will also make them wonder what you're up to.  >:D

We have some long-lived people today.  Ian, the third of his line, is one of them.  Despite his advanced age, he normally has enjoyed remarkably good health so far, but he had to check into the hospital recently because he had developed a serious staph infection.  The local newspaper considered this event to be unusual to put it on the front page.

The title: "Ian III Ill at 111"


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on April 24, 2017, 1:10 AM
Marriage is a trip between Niagra Falls and Reno.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on April 25, 2017, 1:03 AM
Marriage requires a low deposit, but you spend the rest of your life paying for  it.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on April 26, 2017, 1:58 AM
It's hard to soar like an eagle when you are surrounded by turkeys.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: scoundrel1728 on April 26, 2017, 12:50 PM
The College of Hard Knocks is an easy school to get into and the tuition is initially low but the fees and incidental expenses can get expensive, especially if you must repeat courses.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on April 27, 2017, 1:53 AM
Modern man is the missing link between apes and human beings.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on April 28, 2017, 3:28 AM
He who spends a storm beneath a tree, takes life with a grain of TNT.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on April 29, 2017, 4:43 AM
Men seldom show dimples to girls who have pimples.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on April 29, 2017, 5:05 AM

PHOTO OF THE WEEK (POTW)
for April 23rd to April 29th
 

WINNER!!

(http://photography-cafe.com/images/rib1.gif)
"Holiday Express "
by Nightjar


(http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/albums/userpics/IMG_0478-1-4.jpg) (http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/displayimage.php?pos=-103999)



Click on the photo to go to Mike's album and leave a comment.


BigAl    :thumbup:


We all love comments! :)


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on April 30, 2017, 4:29 AM
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.  -- Groucho Marx


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on May 1, 2017, 12:58 AM
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.  -- Groucho Marx


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on May 2, 2017, 2:37 AM
Measure with a micrometer; mark with chalk; cut with an axe.  -- Ray


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on May 3, 2017, 6:16 AM
Quantity is no substitute for quality, but it is the only one we have.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on May 4, 2017, 3:14 AM
Friends: People who borrow my books and set wet glasses on them.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on May 5, 2017, 2:08 AM
Fortune favors the lucky.  -- Tom Weller


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on May 6, 2017, 4:28 AM
Two definitions that should be in a modern dictionary:
Furbling: Walking a maze of ropes even when you are the only person in  line.
Genderplex: Trying to determine from the cutesy pictures which restroom  to use.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on May 6, 2017, 4:29 AM

PHOTO OF THE WEEK (POTW)
for April 30th to May 6th
 

WINNER!!

(http://photography-cafe.com/images/rib1.gif)
"St Michael's Hill"
by jane_t


(http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/albums/userpics/RJT201705375056102.jpg) (http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/displayimage.php?pos=-104019)



Click on the photo to go to Jane's album and leave a comment.


BigAl    :thumbup:


We all love comments! :)


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on May 7, 2017, 4:13 AM
I do desire we may be better strangers.  -- Shakespeare


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on May 8, 2017, 12:27 AM
Fossil flowers come from the Petrified Florist.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on May 9, 2017, 2:37 AM
Male zebras have white stripes, but female zebras have black stripes.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on May 10, 2017, 3:28 AM
Another definition that should be in a modern dictionary:
Gleemites: Petrified deposits of toothpaste found in sinks.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on May 11, 2017, 1:57 AM
Maturity is a high price to pay for growing up.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on May 12, 2017, 12:38 AM
God gives us relatives; thank goodness we can chose our friends.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on May 13, 2017, 3:45 AM
May you die in bed at 95, shot by a jealous spouse.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on May 13, 2017, 3:46 AM

PHOTO OF THE WEEK (POTW)
for May 7th to May 13th
 

WINNER!!

(http://photography-cafe.com/images/rib1.gif)
"Dillington House"
by jane_t


(http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/albums/userpics/RJT201705385056701.jpg) (http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/displayimage.php?pos=-104025)



Click on the photo to go to Jane's album and leave a comment.


BigAl    :thumbup:


We all love comments! :)


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on May 14, 2017, 4:05 AM
I can't give you brains, but I can give you a diploma.  -- the Wizard of Oz


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: scoundrel1728 on May 14, 2017, 8:58 PM
And, immediately upon receiving the diploma, the Scarecrow thoroughly mangled the Pythagorean Theorem.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on May 15, 2017, 1:40 AM
Genius: A chemist who discovers a laundry additive that rhymes with  "bright".


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: scoundrel1728 on May 15, 2017, 2:03 PM
Maybe, but I have yet to hear of any detergent with chlorine bleach screaming NOW WITH SODIUM HYPOCHLORITE!!! on the packaging. :)


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on May 16, 2017, 12:57 AM
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.  -- Mark Twain


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on May 17, 2017, 1:51 AM
Live fast, die young, and leave a good looking corpse.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on May 18, 2017, 2:11 AM
Give me a sleeping pill and tell me your troubles.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on May 19, 2017, 2:12 AM
Give your very best today.  Heaven knows it is little enough.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on May 22, 2017, 2:22 AM

PHOTO OF THE WEEK (POTW)
for May 14th to May 20th
 

WINNER!!

(http://photography-cafe.com/images/rib1.gif)
"just strumming"
by karenc


(http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/albums/userpics/cafe~1.jpg) (http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/displayimage.php?pos=-104047)



Click on the photo to go to Karen's album and leave a comment.


BigAl    :thumbup:


We all love comments! :)


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on May 22, 2017, 2:23 AM
Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on May 22, 2017, 2:24 AM
God, I ask for patience -- and I want it right now!


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on May 23, 2017, 1:46 AM
Butch the Rooster

Sarah was in the fertilized egg business.    She had several hundred young pullets and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs.
 
She kept records and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced.
 
This took a lot of time, so she bought some tiny bells and attached them to her roosters. Each bell had a different tone, so she could tell from a distance which rooster was performing. Now, she could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by just listening to the bells.
 
Sarah's favourite rooster, old Butch, was a very fine specimen but, this morning she noticed old Butch's bell hadn't rung at all! When she went to investigate, she saw the other roosters were busy chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover.

To Sarah's amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring.    He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job, and walk on to the next one.

Sarah was so proud of old Butch, she entered him in a Show and he became an overnight sensation among the judges.

The result was the judges not only awarded old Butch the "No Bell Peace Prize" they also awarded him the "Pulletsurprise" as well. 

Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making.  Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the unsuspecting populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention? 

Vote carefully in the election on the 8th June. You can't always hear the bells.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on May 24, 2017, 3:08 AM
God made the world in six days, and was arrested on the seventh.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on May 25, 2017, 4:43 AM
God made everything out of nothing, but the nothingness shows through.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on May 26, 2017, 2:26 AM
I hate quotations.  -- Ralph Waldo Emerson


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on May 27, 2017, 4:52 AM
Government expands to absorb all available revenue and then some.  -- Wiker


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on May 27, 2017, 4:52 AM

PHOTO OF THE WEEK (POTW)
for May 21st to May 27th
 

WINNER!!

(http://photography-cafe.com/images/rib1.gif)
"The beauty of dance"
by Nightjar


(http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/albums/userpics/IMG_0875-1-2.jpg) (http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/displayimage.php?pos=-104072)



Click on the photo to go to Mike's album and leave a comment.


BigAl    :thumbup:


We all love comments! :)


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on May 28, 2017, 8:44 AM
How do you make an elephant float? 
Two scoops of elephant and some rootbeer.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on May 29, 2017, 1:34 AM
I am really enjoying not talking to you, so let's not talk again real soon, OK?


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: scoundrel1728 on May 29, 2017, 12:09 PM
I am really enjoying not talking to you, so let's not talk again real soon, OK?

...



















...


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on May 30, 2017, 1:20 AM
Gravity: What you get when you eat too much and too fast.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on May 31, 2017, 1:47 AM
He was so narrow-minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on June 1, 2017, 4:12 AM
We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the alligators.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on June 2, 2017, 2:28 AM
God don't make mistakes.  That's how He got to be God.  -- Archie Bunker


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on June 3, 2017, 3:30 AM
Great minds run in great circles.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on June 3, 2017, 3:52 AM

PHOTO OF THE WEEK (POTW)
for May 28th to June 3rd
 

WINNER!!

(http://photography-cafe.com/images/rib1.gif)
"Blue Hour in Limerick"
by Highcloud


(http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/albums/userpics/IMGP5893.jpg) (http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/displayimage.php?pos=-104090)



Click on the photo to go to Highcloud's album and leave a comment.


BigAl    :thumbup:


We all love comments! :)


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on June 4, 2017, 4:41 AM
I spilled spot remover on my dog.  Now he's gone.  -- Steve Wright


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on June 5, 2017, 1:18 AM
Having children is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on June 6, 2017, 12:34 AM
If you do a job too well, you will get stuck with it.  -- Slous


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on June 7, 2017, 3:07 AM
I would give my right arm to be ambidextrous.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on June 8, 2017, 3:05 AM
No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on June 9, 2017, 1:34 AM
Keep a very firm grasp on reality, so you can strangle it at any time.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on June 10, 2017, 4:14 AM
[He] has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.  -- Churchill


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on June 10, 2017, 4:39 AM

PHOTO OF THE WEEK (POTW)
for June 4th to June 10th
 

WINNER!!

(http://photography-cafe.com/images/rib1.gif)
"Morpho butterfly resting by a lagoon"
by Nightjar


(http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/albums/userpics/image~2.jpeg) (http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/displayimage.php?pos=-104106)



Click on the photo to go to Mike's album and leave a comment.


BigAl    :thumbup:


We all love comments! :)


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on June 11, 2017, 4:15 AM
I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.  -- Albran


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on June 12, 2017, 2:28 AM
How can you govern a nation which has 246 kinds of cheese?  -- Charles de Gaulle


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on June 13, 2017, 2:25 AM
The weather at home improves as soon as you go away.  -- Gomme


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on June 14, 2017, 3:39 AM
How long a minute is depends on which side of the bathroom door you are  on.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on June 15, 2017, 2:45 AM
Mummy: An Egyptian who was pressed for time.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on June 16, 2017, 3:36 AM
Going the speed of light is bad for your age.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: scoundrel1728 on June 16, 2017, 10:15 AM
Or it's bad for everyone else's age, depending on how you look at it.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on June 17, 2017, 7:04 AM
HELP!  MY KEYBOARD IS STUCK ON CAPSLOCK!


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on June 17, 2017, 12:20 PM

PHOTO OF THE WEEK (POTW)
for June 11th to 17th
 

WINNER!!

(http://photography-cafe.com/images/rib1.gif)
"In a French Abbey"
by Highcloud


(http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/albums/userpics/DSC_0526-HDR_tonemapped.jpg) (http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/displayimage.php?pos=-104123)



Click on the photo to go to Highcloud's album and leave a comment.


BigAl    :thumbup:


We all love comments! :)


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on June 18, 2017, 4:12 AM
The saleswoman watched as a teenager twirled in front of the mirror.
"I adore this dress!" bubbled the girl.  "It's absolutely perfect! I'll take it!"
Then the young shopper paused thoughtfully, "But in case my mother likes it, can I bring it back?"


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on June 19, 2017, 12:56 AM
He is considered a most graceful speaker who can say nothing in the most words.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on June 20, 2017, 2:41 AM
There was this couple who were running late preparing for the big party, and it just so happened that the husband had on a pair of trousers that had a buttoned fly, one button of which had come off and needed sewing.
The wife simply did not have the time to tend to it so she suggested he run across the street to have her lady friend take care of the matter.  And so he did.
A little bit later he came back with the button sewn on all right, but he was terribly beaten up.
"Good grief!  What in the world happened to you!  You just went over there for the button to be sewed on, and now look at you!"
"Well, when I told her what I wanted done she said to take a seat and that it would just take her a second.  So I sat down and she began sewing on the button.  Everything was just going along just fine until she bent over to bite off the thread and her husband came in the door."


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on June 21, 2017, 3:56 AM
Good day for a change of scene.  Repaper the bedroom wall.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on June 22, 2017, 1:45 AM
Honeymoon: A short period of doting between dating and debting.  -- Ray Bandy


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on June 23, 2017, 1:23 AM
Having children will turn you into your parents.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on June 24, 2017, 4:38 AM
Mathematicians take it to the limit.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on June 24, 2017, 2:13 PM

PHOTO OF THE WEEK (POTW)
for June 18th to 24th
 

WINNER!!

(http://photography-cafe.com/images/rib1.gif)
"Male Kingfisher"
by trevor howell


(http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/albums/userpics/_E3A9990.jpg) (http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/displayimage.php?pos=-104166)



Click on the photo to go to Trevor's album and leave a comment.


BigAl    :thumbup:


We all love comments! :)


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on June 26, 2017, 2:23 AM
You would if you could but you can't so you won't (and probably  shouldn't).


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on June 27, 2017, 2:26 AM
Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on June 28, 2017, 4:20 AM
Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on June 29, 2017, 3:55 AM
I am a Libra.  Libras don't believe in astrology.  -- Al Hibbs


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on June 30, 2017, 1:20 AM
A mortal theme:
Is there life before death?  -- Belfast Graffito
I want to achieve immortality through not dying.  -- Woody Allen
I'm not afraid to die.  I just don't want to be there when it happens.  -- Woody Allen
If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive.  -- Samuel Goldwyn
Good-bye.  I am leaving because I am bored.  -- George Saunders's last  words
Go away.  I'm all right.  -- last words of H. G. Wells


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on July 1, 2017, 2:02 AM
Machines have less problems.  I'd like to be a machine.  -- Andy Warhol


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on July 1, 2017, 2:29 AM

PHOTO OF THE WEEK (POTW)
for June 25th to July 1st
 

WINNER!!

(http://photography-cafe.com/images/rib1.gif)
"Baroque Reflection"
by Highcloud


(http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/albums/userpics/DSCN0131-Edit.jpg) (http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/displayimage.php?pos=-104187)



Click on the photo to go to Christine's album and leave a comment.


BigAl    :thumbup:


We all love comments! :)


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on July 2, 2017, 2:01 AM
He has the heart of a little child...  it's in a jar on his desk.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on July 2, 2017, 1:47 PM

Photo Of The Quarter for Apr,May,Jun

During the previous Quarter you have seen some wonderful POTWs. Now it is your chance to cast up to three votes for one of these to become the POTQ for Apr,May,Jun 17

Just go to this link - http://www.photography-cafe.com/forum/index.php?topic=26426.0 and pick your winner(s).

Alan...:)


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on July 3, 2017, 1:53 AM
I have the simplest tastes.  I am always satisfied with the best.  -- Wilde


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on July 4, 2017, 1:15 AM
I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.  -- Mae West


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on July 6, 2017, 2:29 AM
Grasshoppotamus: A creature that can leap to tremendous heights...  once.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on July 8, 2017, 4:26 AM

PHOTO OF THE WEEK (POTW)
for July 2nd to July 8th
 

WINNER!!

(http://photography-cafe.com/images/rib1.gif)
"Where Poppies Blow Votes"
by jane_t


(http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/albums/userpics/RJT201705455077530.jpg) (http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/displayimage.php?pos=-104194)



Click on the photo to go to Jane's album and leave a comment.


BigAl    :thumbup:


We all love comments! :)


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on July 9, 2017, 3:58 AM
Genetics: Why you look like your father, and if you don't, why you should.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on July 10, 2017, 1:20 AM
I belong to no organized party.  I am a Democrat.  -- Will Rogers


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on July 10, 2017, 2:22 AM

PHOTO OF THE QUARTER
FOR Apr,May,Jun
 

WINNER!!

(http://photography-cafe.com/images/rib1.gif)
"The beauty of dance "
by Nightjar


(http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/albums/userpics/IMG_0875-1-2.jpg) (http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/displayimage.php?pos=-104072)



Click on the photo to go to Nightjar's album and leave a comment.


BigAl    :thumbup:


We all love comments! :)


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on July 11, 2017, 4:04 AM
He went to prison for something he didn't do - wear gloves.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on July 12, 2017, 1:42 AM
He is no lawyer who cannot take two sides.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on July 13, 2017, 1:16 AM
Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.  -- Ogden Nash


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on July 14, 2017, 1:21 AM
If we all work together we can totally disrupt the system.  -- Brilliant


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on July 15, 2017, 3:09 AM
He who dies with the most toys, wins.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on July 15, 2017, 3:49 AM

PHOTO OF THE WEEK (POTW)
for July 9th to July 15th
 

WINNER!!

(http://photography-cafe.com/images/rib1.gif)
"Living by the river"
by dhandjh


(http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/albums/userpics/living_by_the_river_LR_Smaller.jpg) (http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/displayimage.php?pos=-104222)



Click on the photo to go to Dave's album and leave a comment.


BigAl    :thumbup:


We all love comments! :)


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on July 16, 2017, 5:04 AM
He who has a shady past
Thinks that nice guys finish last.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on July 18, 2017, 2:35 AM
He who hesitates is a damned fool.  -- Mae West


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on July 19, 2017, 3:44 AM
Honk if you love peace and quiet.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on July 21, 2017, 2:29 AM
History does not repeat itself; historians merely repeat each other.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on July 22, 2017, 3:55 AM

PHOTO OF THE WEEK (POTW)
for July 16th to July 22nd
 

WINNER!!

(http://photography-cafe.com/images/rib1.gif)
"Red Squirrel"
by trevor howell


(http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/albums/userpics/red-Squirrel.jpg) (http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/displayimage.php?pos=-104249)



Click on the photo to go to Trevor's album and leave a comment.


BigAl    :thumbup:


We all love comments! :)


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on July 23, 2017, 3:36 AM
Hangover: The wrath of grapes.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on July 24, 2017, 2:15 AM
You begin to panic when the flying instructor tells you to keep the pointy end forward and the noisy end behind.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on July 25, 2017, 2:14 AM
He who speak with forked tongue, not need chopsticks.  -- Chinese proverb


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on July 26, 2017, 3:13 AM
I am a Hollywood writer, so I put on a sports jacket and take off my brain.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on July 27, 2017, 3:26 AM
How long should a man's legs be?  Long enough to reach the ground.  -- Lincoln


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on July 28, 2017, 2:57 AM
An archaeologist was digging in the Negev Desert in Israel and came upon a casket containing a mummy.  After examining it, he called the curator of a prestigious natural-history museum.
"I've just discovered a 3,000 year-old mummy of a man who died of heart failure!" the excited scientist exclaimed.
To which the curator replied, "Bring him in.  We'll check it out."
A week later, the amazed curator called the archaeologist.  "You were right about the mummy's age and cause of death.  How in the world did you know?"
"Easy.  There was a piece of paper in his hand that said, '10,000 Shekels on Goliath'."


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on July 29, 2017, 2:56 AM
5 quotes:
I have heard about people like me, but I never made the connection.  -- McLean
I have ways of making money that you know nothing of.  -- John D.  Rockefeller
I often quote myself; it adds spice to my conversation.  -- G.  B.  Shaw
I promise we would only loose ten to twenty million TOPS!  -- Dr.  Strangelove
I really had to act; 'cause I didn't have any lines.  -- Marilyn Chambers


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on July 29, 2017, 2:56 AM

PHOTO OF THE WEEK (POTW)
for July 23rd to 29th
 

WINNER!!

(http://photography-cafe.com/images/rib1.gif)
"Harbour at dusk"
by Nightjar


(http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/albums/userpics/IMG_1934-1-2.jpg) (http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/displayimage.php?pos=-104274)



Click on the photo to go to Mike's album and leave a comment.


BigAl    :thumbup:


We all love comments! :)


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on July 30, 2017, 4:13 AM
I'd rather have a free bottle in front of me than a prefrontal lobotomy.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on July 31, 2017, 1:37 AM
Just because you are not paranoid doesn't mean they are not out to get you.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on August 1, 2017, 2:20 AM
I put instant coffee in a microwave and almost went back in time.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on August 2, 2017, 3:12 AM
How wonderful opera would be if there were no singers.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on August 3, 2017, 2:01 AM
I am a creationist; I refuse to believe that I could have evolved from humans.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on August 4, 2017, 3:32 AM
Justice: A decision in your favour.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: scoundrel1728 on August 4, 2017, 9:41 AM
Justice: When we get what we deserve.
Mercy: When we don't get what we deserve.
Grace: When we get what we don't deserve.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on August 5, 2017, 4:27 AM
Forms follow function, and often obliterate it.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on August 5, 2017, 4:28 AM

PHOTO OF THE WEEK (POTW)
for July 30th to August 5th
 

WINNER!!

(http://photography-cafe.com/images/rib1.gif)
"Hay Bails"
by trevor howell


(http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/albums/userpics/Hay-Bales.jpg) (http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/displayimage.php?pos=-104300)



Click on the photo to go to Trevor's album and leave a comment.


BigAl    :thumbup:


We all love comments! :)


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on August 6, 2017, 3:13 AM
I'm pretty good with BS but I love listening to an expert.  Keep  talking.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on August 7, 2017, 1:27 AM
Help stamp out and abolish redundancy.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on August 8, 2017, 1:38 AM
I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.  -- Mae West


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on August 9, 2017, 2:11 AM
Just when you get going, someone injects a dose of reality with a large needle.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on August 10, 2017, 3:03 AM
I am dying beyond my means.  -- Oscar Wilde's last words, sipping champagne


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on August 11, 2017, 2:40 AM
If opportunity came disguised as temptation, one knock would be enough.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on August 12, 2017, 3:09 AM

PHOTO OF THE WEEK (POTW)
for August 6th to August 12th
 

WINNER!!

(http://photography-cafe.com/images/rib1.gif)
"Kingfisher"
by trevor howell


(http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/albums/userpics/Kingfisher~1.jpg) (http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/displayimage.php?pos=-104329)



Click on the photo to go to Trevor's album and leave a comment.


BigAl    :thumbup:


We all love comments! :)


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on August 12, 2017, 3:11 AM
Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.  -- H.  L.  Mencken


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on August 13, 2017, 4:05 AM
If I owned Texas and Hell, I would rent out Texas and live in Hell.  -- Sheridan


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on August 14, 2017, 12:18 AM
Somewhere I read a story of a woman who wanted a divorce. She went to the courthouse and appeared before the judge. The judge reviewed her petition and asked, "Do you have grounds?" The woman looked at him quizzically and said, "Grounds? Well, yes, your Honor, we do have about an acre and a half." "No," said the judge, "What I mean is, do you have a grudge?" The bewildered woman replied, "No, we just have a carport." The judge was becoming frustrated. "You're not getting the point," he said. "Does he beat you up?" The woman replied, "Oh, no I'm up at 6:30 and he doesn't get up until 7:00." The judge was exasperated. He looked at the woman and asked "Look, lady, why are you here? What reason do you have for wanting a divorce?" The woman replied, "Because my husband and I have a communication problem."


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on August 15, 2017, 2:39 AM
Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.
Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out.
When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.
When she went to tell Edna the news she said, 'Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love. I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness. The bad news is, Ralph hanged himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him.  I am so sorry, but he's dead.'
Edna replied, 'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry... How soon can I go home?'


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on August 16, 2017, 3:07 AM
If I had any humility I would be perfect.  -- Ted Turner


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on August 17, 2017, 3:40 AM
I love mankind...  It's people I hate.  -- Schulz


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on August 18, 2017, 2:16 AM
In the fabled Kotiki city of glass, a group of 'anthropologists' came to visit.  The King got word of this, and realized that these 'anthropologists' were there just to steal rare Kotiki artifacts that they could to sell to museums back in America.
He was determined to keep his prized gold throne from American hands at all costs so he had the throne taken from his palace and dragged by slave-laborers to his fantastic Tower of Glass in the hills, where the thieves would never come upon it.
Unfortunately, the Americans stumbled upon the Tower of Glass, and easily saw the huge throne behind the transparent walls of the building. They stole it that night and made off.
The next day, the King was furious, asking his advisors how such a theft was possible.
"Well, great King," explained an advisor, "you shouldn't stow thrones in glass houses!"


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on August 19, 2017, 2:16 AM
If at first you do succeed, ---
- try to hide your astonishment.
- quit; don't be a nut about success.
- redefine success.
- you probably didn't really care anyway.
- you're doing about average.  -- Leonard Levinson


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on August 19, 2017, 2:17 AM

PHOTO OF THE WEEK (POTW)
for August 13th to August 19th
 

WINNER!!

(http://photography-cafe.com/images/rib1.gif)
"Catch of the Day"
by trevor howell


(http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/albums/userpics/Kingfisher-with-catch.jpg) (http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/displayimage.php?pos=-104333)



Click on the photo to go to Trevor's album and leave a comment.


BigAl    :thumbup:


We all love comments! :)


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on August 20, 2017, 3:21 AM
An Arab Sheikh was admitted to Hospital for heart surgery, but prior to the surgery, the doctors needed to have some of his blood type stored in case the need arose.
As the gentleman had an extremely rare type of blood that couldn't be found locally, the call went out around the world.
Finally a Scotsman was located who had the same rare blood type.
After some coaxing, the Scot donated his blood for the Arab.
After the surgery the Arab sent the Scotsman a new BMW, a diamond necklace for his wife, and £100,000 in appreciation for the blood donation.
A few months later, the Arab had to undergo a corrective surgery procedure.
Once again, his doctor telephoned the Scotsman who this time was more than happy to donate his blood.
After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Scotsman a thank-you card and a box of Quality Street chocolates.
The Scotsman was shocked that the Arab did not reciprocate his kind gesture as he had anticipated.
He then phoned the Arab and asked him:
"I thought you would be more generous than that -last time you sent me a BMW, diamonds and money, but this time you only sent me a lousy thank-you card and a crappy box of chocolates?"
To this the Arab replied:
"Aye laddie, but I now have Scottish blood in me veins"


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on August 22, 2017, 1:10 AM
I used to be lost in the shuffle.  Now I just shuffle along with the lost.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on August 23, 2017, 2:38 AM
How sharper than a hound's tooth it is to have a thankless serpent.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on August 24, 2017, 2:23 AM
Keep stress out of your life.  Give it to others instead.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on August 26, 2017, 4:33 AM

PHOTO OF THE WEEK (POTW)
for August 20th to August 26th
 

WINNER!!

(http://photography-cafe.com/images/rib1.gif)
"old clock"
by droll13


(http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/albums/userpics/POSTED---2017-07-08_sunlit-old-clock_IMG_1445-c02-m01_650s-72-65.jpg) (http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/displayimage.php?pos=-104354)



Click on the photo to go to droll13's album and leave a comment.


BigAl    :thumbup:


We all love comments! :)


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on August 27, 2017, 3:05 AM
Humor is the best antidote to reality.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on August 28, 2017, 12:24 AM
If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door.  -- Paul Beatty


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on August 30, 2017, 1:36 AM
I would like to help you out.  Which way did you come in?


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on August 31, 2017, 2:15 AM
How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
All you can  afford.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on September 1, 2017, 2:18 AM
I doubt, therefore I might be.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on September 2, 2017, 5:45 PM

PHOTO OF THE WEEK (POTW)
for August 27th to September 2nd
 

WINNER!!

(http://photography-cafe.com/images/rib1.gif)
"Brass and Iron"
by jane_t


(http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/albums/userpics/ST-20175120879.jpg) (http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/displayimage.php?pos=-104372)



Click on the photo to go to Jane's album and leave a comment.


BigAl    :thumbup:


We all love comments! :)


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on September 3, 2017, 3:33 AM
I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on September 4, 2017, 12:55 AM
I think that I shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree.  -- Nash


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on September 5, 2017, 2:19 AM
I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on September 6, 2017, 2:45 AM
I don't have any solution, but I certainly admire the problem.  -- Brilliant


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on September 8, 2017, 2:17 AM
I'm not going deaf,  I'm ignoring you.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on September 9, 2017, 3:19 AM
If God had meant for us to be naked, we would have been born that way.
If God had wanted you to go around nude, He would have given you bigger hands.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on September 9, 2017, 4:26 AM

PHOTO OF THE WEEK (POTW)
for September 3rd to September 9th
 

WINNER!!

(http://photography-cafe.com/images/rib1.gif)
"Sun Set over Watermead Park"
by dhandjh


(http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/albums/userpics/Sunset_LR.jpg) (http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/displayimage.php?pos=-104381)



Click on the photo to go to Dave's album and leave a comment.


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We all love comments! :)


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on September 10, 2017, 3:43 AM
If it jams, force it.  If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on September 11, 2017, 1:36 AM
I shot an arrow into the air and it stuck.  -- graffito in Los Angeles


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on September 12, 2017, 2:05 AM
Idiot box: Part of an envelope that tells a person where to place the stamp.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: scoundrel1728 on September 12, 2017, 10:12 AM
I shot an arrow into the air and it stuck.  -- graffito in Los Angeles

I remember a televised public service spot from the mid-to-late 1960s that started that way.  The announcer then pulled an arrow from the corner of the screen and continued his spiel. Also, when I was going to high school in San Jose, CA later in the decade, the haze was so thick that it was noticeable from one end of a school building to the other. I haven't looked up the campus on Google Maps, but I estimate the the distance from one building to the next to be about 60 meters. The air has been cleaned up a lot since then.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on September 13, 2017, 2:58 AM
I will always love the false image I had of you.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on September 14, 2017, 12:37 AM
The best thing about gnomes is their imp-perfections.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on September 15, 2017, 4:15 AM
I've been in more laps than a napkin.  -- Mae West


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on September 16, 2017, 4:53 AM

PHOTO OF THE WEEK (POTW)
for September 10th to 16th September
 

WINNER!!

(http://photography-cafe.com/images/rib1.gif)
"A Flower and it's Shadow"
by Highcloud


(http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/albums/userpics/IMPG0506_Gerber_Shadow.jpg) (http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/displayimage.php?pos=-104398)



Click on the photo to go to Christine's album and leave a comment.


BigAl    :thumbup:


We all love comments! :)


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on September 19, 2017, 2:16 AM
If an item is advertised as "under $50", you can bet it's not $19.95.  -- McGowan


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on September 20, 2017, 3:57 AM
I would never join any club that would have the likes of me as a member.  -- Marx


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on September 21, 2017, 2:22 AM
It was a brave man that ate the first oyster.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on September 22, 2017, 2:36 AM
I'll race you to China.  You can have a head start.  Ready, set, GO!


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on September 23, 2017, 3:13 AM
Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.  -- von Braun


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on September 23, 2017, 3:14 AM

PHOTO OF THE WEEK (POTW)
for September 17th to September 23rd
 

WINNER!!

(http://photography-cafe.com/images/rib1.gif)
"Dubai View from the River"
by Highcloud


(http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/albums/userpics/IMGP1407.jpg) (http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/displayimage.php?pos=-104405)



Click on the photo to go to Christine's album and leave a comment.


BigAl    :thumbup:


We all love comments! :)


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on September 25, 2017, 2:13 AM
If in doubt, mumble.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on September 26, 2017, 1:50 AM
Ingrate: Bites the hand that feeds him, and then complains of indigestion.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on September 27, 2017, 1:56 AM
If Murphy's Law can go wrong, it will.  -- Silverman


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on September 28, 2017, 3:38 AM
If you are asked to join a parade, don't march behind the elephants.  -- Zisla


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on September 29, 2017, 3:06 AM
It doesn't matter whether you win or lose -- until you lose.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on September 30, 2017, 3:36 AM
It is bad luck to be superstitious.  -- Andrew Mathis


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on September 30, 2017, 3:36 AM

PHOTO OF THE WEEK (POTW)
for September 24th to September 30th
 

WINNER!!

(http://photography-cafe.com/images/rib1.gif)
"Sea front in Split, Croatia"
by Nightjar


(http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/albums/userpics/image~3.jpeg) (http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/displayimage.php?pos=-104418)



Click on the photo to go to Mike's album and leave a comment.


BigAl    :thumbup:


We all love comments! :)


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on October 2, 2017, 2:06 AM

Photo Of The Quarter for Jul,Aug,Sep

During the previous Quarter you have seen some wonderful POTWs. Now it is your chance to cast up to three votes for one of these to become the POTQ for Jul,Aug,Sep 17

Just go to this link - http://www.photography-cafe.com/forum/index.php?topic=26582.0 and pick your winner(s).

Alan...:)


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on October 4, 2017, 2:15 AM
My son was really upset because he couldn’t spell “Armageddon.” I told him “cheer up, it’s not the end of the world.”


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on October 5, 2017, 2:58 AM
A very redundant statement:
I will never lie to you.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on October 8, 2017, 4:52 AM
It is better to be on penicillin than never to have loved at all.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on October 9, 2017, 1:58 AM
It is better to be on the ground wishing you were flying, than vice versa.
It is better to burn out than to fade away.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on October 10, 2017, 1:20 AM
It is better to have loved and lost -- much better.
It is better to have loved and lost than just to have lost.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on October 11, 2017, 4:28 AM

PHOTO OF THE QUARTER
FOR Jul,Aug,Sep 2017
 

WINNER!!

(http://photography-cafe.com/images/rib1.gif)
"Red Squirrel"
by trevor howell


(http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/albums/userpics/red-Squirrel.jpg) (http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/displayimage.php?pos=-104249)



Click on the photo to go to trevor howell's album and leave a comment.


BigAl    :thumbup:


We all love comments! :)


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on October 13, 2017, 2:55 AM
It is better to wear out than to rust out.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on October 14, 2017, 5:16 AM

PHOTO OF THE WEEK (POTW)
for October 8th to 14th October
 

WINNER!!

(http://photography-cafe.com/images/rib1.gif)
"Hamburg Harbour"
by Highcloud


(http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/albums/userpics/P9220144.jpg) (http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/displayimage.php?pos=-104437)



Click on the photo to go to Christine's album and leave a comment.


BigAl    :thumbup:


We all love comments! :)


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on October 16, 2017, 3:38 AM
It is difficult to soar with eagles when you work with turkeys.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on October 17, 2017, 2:20 AM
If it is worth doing, it is worth doing for money.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on October 18, 2017, 3:56 AM
If you can lead it to water and force it to drink, it isn't a horse.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on October 19, 2017, 8:37 AM
Ice cream cures all ills.  Temporarily.  -- Seleznick


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on October 20, 2017, 3:05 AM
Marriage is a rest period between romances.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on October 21, 2017, 4:31 AM

PHOTO OF THE WEEK (POTW)
for October 15th to October 21st
 

WINNER!!

(http://photography-cafe.com/images/rib1.gif)
"Daisy Daisy"
by Chocky


(http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/albums/userpics/daisy~0.jpg) (http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/displayimage.php?pos=-104452)



Click on the photo to go to Beryl's album and leave a comment.


BigAl    :thumbup:


We all love comments! :)


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on October 22, 2017, 4:26 AM
It is difficult to legislate morality in the absence of moral legislators.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on October 23, 2017, 2:29 AM
If it pours before seven, it has rained by eleven.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: scoundrel1728 on October 23, 2017, 10:09 AM
If it pours before seven, it has rained by eleven.

???


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on October 24, 2017, 1:41 AM
Life -- love it or leave it.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on October 25, 2017, 2:24 AM
Life begins at the centerfold and expands outward.  -- Miss November, 1966


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on October 26, 2017, 3:39 AM
Life is a game of bridge -- and you have just been finessed.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on October 27, 2017, 2:41 AM
Life is complex.  It has real and imaginary parts.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on October 28, 2017, 4:54 AM

PHOTO OF THE WEEK (POTW)
for October 22nd to October 28th
 

WINNER!!

(http://photography-cafe.com/images/rib1.gif)
"Newbiggin Rocks"
by trevor howell


(http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/albums/userpics/Newbiggin-Rocks.jpg) (http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/displayimage.php?pos=-104459)



Click on the photo to go to Trevor's album and leave a comment.


BigAl    :thumbup:


We all love comments! :)


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on October 29, 2017, 4:32 AM
Life is difficult because it is non-linear.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on October 30, 2017, 3:03 PM
It is better to remain childless than to father an orphan.  -- Tom Weller


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on October 31, 2017, 2:40 AM
Laugh, and the world ignores you.  Crying doesn't help either.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on November 1, 2017, 2:39 AM
Never eat anything bigger than your head.  -- Kliban

Maybe that includes a used pumpkin.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: scoundrel1728 on November 1, 2017, 4:45 PM
Does a steak count? The steak itself is unlikely to be bigger than your head, but the animal it comes from is a different story. :)


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on November 2, 2017, 6:18 AM
If all the world's managers were laid end to end, it would be an improvement.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on November 3, 2017, 3:13 AM
Lie: A very poor substitute for the truth, but the only one discovered to date.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on November 8, 2017, 1:21 AM

PHOTO OF THE WEEK (POTW)
for October 29th to November 4th
 

WINNER!!

(http://photography-cafe.com/images/rib1.gif)
"Set Square"
by dhandjh


(http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/albums/userpics/SetSquareLR.jpg) (http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/displayimage.php?pos=-104480)



Click on the photo to go to Dave's album and leave a comment.


BigAl    :thumbup:


We all love comments! :)


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on November 8, 2017, 1:23 AM
If it wasn't for muscle spasms, I wouldn't get any exercise at all.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on November 9, 2017, 3:18 AM
If reproducibility might be a problem, conduct the test only once.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on November 10, 2017, 2:13 AM
Once upon a time a young man went to consult his family physician for a singular medical problem.  When he went to stool he passed a tremendous amount of gas that came out in a long puff of sound.  To be blunt, when he farted the gas made a long and deep sound like a basso profundo singing the word 'HONDA.' It sounded just like his anus was advertising a line of Japanese automobiles.
The doctor stated that this was indeed a very strange ailment, and being a general practitioner, sent the young man to a gastroenterologist
The specialist was equally puzzled, but realizing that the sound was Japanese in tone, said that he had a colleague who had graduated from the university of Tokyo medical school who had excellent credentials in the field of gastrology and would like to have him examine the patient.
The man went to see the Japanese doctor who, right off the bat said, "Open your mouth."      The patient said, "But doc, it's my anus that is giving me the problem."
The Japanese doctor said, "I know that, but open your mouth."
After a cursory examination of the mouth the Japanese doctor told the patient that he had an abscessed tooth and to go to a dentist and have it removed.
The young man thought the doctor was nuts because he had no trouble with his teeth and also figured that his teeth had nothing to do with his anus, but he was desperate so he went to the dentist.
The dentist x-rayed his mouth, found the abscessed tooth, yanked it out and sent the young man on his way.  Afterwards his anus stopped singing "HONDA."
He went back to his doctor and told him of his strange experience.
His doctor went to the doctor from Japan and asked him what a bad tooth had to do with a singing anus.
The Japanese doctor said, "It was very simple.  In Japan we all know that 'abscess makes the fart goes Honda.'"


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on November 11, 2017, 4:52 AM

PHOTO OF THE WEEK (POTW)
for November 5th to November 11th
 

WINNER!!

(http://photography-cafe.com/images/rib1.gif)
"Eastbourne Pier"
by BigAl


(http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/albums/userpics/eastbpier_pc.jpg) (http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/displayimage.php?pos=-104493)



Click on the photo to go to Alan's album and leave a comment.


BigAl    :thumbup:


We all love comments! :)



Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on November 12, 2017, 5:01 AM
If you have to travel on the Titanic, why not go first class?  -- Hempstone


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on November 13, 2017, 2:59 AM
It is not a good omen when goldfish commit suicide.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on November 14, 2017, 2:50 AM
There are many excuses for being late, but there are none for being early.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on November 15, 2017, 2:50 AM
If you have kleptomania, you can always take something for it.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on November 16, 2017, 2:08 AM
The state, it cannot too often be repeated, does nothing, and can give nothing, which it does not take from somebody.  --> Henry George


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on November 17, 2017, 2:11 AM
Three quotes from David Lloyd George:
A young man who isn't a socialist hasn't got a heart; an old man who is a socialist hasn't got a head.
The most dangerous thing in the world is to leap a chasm in two jumps.
The finest eloquence is that which gets things done.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on November 18, 2017, 5:31 AM
Three quotes from David Gerrold:
The game of life is always called on account of darkness.
Those who abhor history are compelled to rewrite it.
The universe has its own cure for stupidity.  Unfortunately it doesn't always apply it.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on November 18, 2017, 5:33 AM

PHOTO OF THE WEEK (POTW)
for November 12th to November 18th
 

WINNER!!

(http://photography-cafe.com/images/rib1.gif)
"Pumping Station"
by trevor howell


(http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/albums/userpics/Pumping-Station.jpg) (http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/displayimage.php?pos=-104497)



Click on the photo to go to Trevor's album and leave a comment.


BigAl    :thumbup:


We all love comments! :)


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on November 19, 2017, 5:14 AM
Three more quotes from David Gerrold:
People who live in glass houses might as well answer the door.
Truth never tranquilizes.  The defining property of truth is its ability to disturb.
Its easier to believe in God than to accept the blame ourselves.


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on November 20, 2017, 1:03 AM
No one can possibly achieve any real and lasting success or "get rich" in business by being a conformist. --> J. Paul Getty


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on November 22, 2017, 2:08 AM
I never make the mistake of arguing with people for whose opinions I have no respect.  --> Edward Gibbon


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on November 23, 2017, 3:11 AM
The wind and waves are always on the side of the ablest navigators. --> Edward Gibbon


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on November 24, 2017, 3:45 AM
The obvious is that which is never seen until someone expresses it simply. --> Kahil Gibran


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: Hatter on November 25, 2017, 3:34 AM

PHOTO OF THE WEEK (POTW)
for November 19th to November 25th
 

WINNER!!

(http://photography-cafe.com/images/rib1.gif)
"Angkor"
by jane_t


(http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/albums/userpics/Cambodia-2017055052340243-Edit.jpg) (http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/displayimage.php?pos=-104513)



Click on the photo to go to Jane's album and leave a comment.


Gareth    :thumbup:


We all love comments! :)

====================================


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on November 27, 2017, 2:47 AM
The significance of a man is not in what he attains but rather in what he longs to attain.  -> Kahil Gibran


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on November 28, 2017, 2:46 AM
I say that without sensuality, sexuality and price, no work of art could exist.  --> Andre Gide


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on November 29, 2017, 3:20 AM
It is better to be hated for what you are than loved for what you are not.  --> Andre Gide


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on November 30, 2017, 3:48 AM
One doesn't discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time. --> Andre Gide


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on December 1, 2017, 3:09 AM
Contemporary literature can be classified under three headings; the neurotic, the erotic and the tommy-rotic.  --> W. Giese


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on December 2, 2017, 5:22 AM
Pro football is like nuclear warfare.  There are no winners, only survivors.  --> Frank Gifford


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on December 2, 2017, 5:45 PM

PHOTO OF THE WEEK (POTW)
for November 26th to December 2nd
 

WINNER!!

(http://photography-cafe.com/images/rib1.gif)
"Cambodian Farmstead"
by jane_t


(http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/albums/userpics/Cambodia-2017055052822725.jpg) (http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/displayimage.php?pos=-104544)



Click on the photo to go to Jane's album and leave a comment.


BigAl    :thumbup:


We all love comments! :)


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on December 3, 2017, 6:27 AM
And whether you're an honest man
Or whether you're a thief
Depends on whose solicitor
Has given me my brief             --> W.S. Gilbert


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on December 4, 2017, 8:07 AM
Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious.  --> Brendan Gill


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on December 6, 2017, 4:39 AM
Money will not buy poverty.  --> Gus Gillrie


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on December 7, 2017, 4:40 AM
Whoever controls the language, the images, controls the race.  --> Allen Ginsburg


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on December 8, 2017, 3:20 AM
It is because nations tend to stupidity and baseness that mankind moves so slowly; it is because individuals have a capacity for better things that it moves at all.  --> George Gissing


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on December 9, 2017, 2:27 AM
Liberalism is trust of the people tempered by prudence; Conservatism is distrust of the people tempered by fear.  --> Gladstone


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on December 9, 2017, 6:23 AM

PHOTO OF THE WEEK (POTW)
for December 3rd to December 9th
 

WINNER!!

(http://photography-cafe.com/images/rib1.gif)
"needing repair"
by PG tips


(http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/albums/userpics/needing_repairPC.jpg) (http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/displayimage.php?pos=-104554)



Click on the photo to go to Paul's album and leave a comment.


BigAl    :thumbup:


We all love comments! :)


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on December 11, 2017, 1:42 AM
National injustice is the surest way to national downfall.  --> Gladstone


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on December 12, 2017, 2:52 AM
Justice delayed is justice denied.   --> Gladstone


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on December 13, 2017, 2:08 AM
The mob that would die for a belief seldom hesitates to inflict death on any opposing heretical group.  --> Ellen Glasgow


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on December 14, 2017, 2:43 AM
Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects.  --> Arnold Glasow


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on December 15, 2017, 7:39 AM
The key to everything is patience.  You get a chicken by hatching an egg--not by smashing it.  --> Arnold Glasow


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on December 16, 2017, 4:29 AM

PHOTO OF THE WEEK (POTW)
for December 10th to December 16th
 

WINNER!!

(http://photography-cafe.com/images/rib1.gif)
"on Mount Etna"
by PG tips


(http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/albums/userpics/on_Mount_EtnaPC.jpg) (http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/displayimage.php?pos=-104565)



Click on the photo to go to Paul's album and leave a comment.


BigAl    :thumbup:


We all love comments! :)


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on December 17, 2017, 5:55 AM
A liberal is a person who is willing to spend someone else's money.  --> Carter Glass


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on December 19, 2017, 3:07 AM
Behind every great man is a woman with nothing to wear.  --> Grant Glickman


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on December 20, 2017, 2:24 AM
The older I grow, the more I listen to people who don't say much.   --> Germain Glidden


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on December 21, 2017, 3:28 AM
Martyrs are suicides by the very definition of the term.   --> William Godwin


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on December 22, 2017, 1:23 AM
The pretense of collective wisdom is the most palpable of all impostures.  --> William Godwin


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on December 23, 2017, 5:08 AM

PHOTO OF THE WEEK (POTW)
for December 17th to December 23rd
 

WINNER!!

(http://photography-cafe.com/images/rib1.gif)
"Blue Butterfly"
by jane_t


(http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/albums/userpics/Cambodia-20170550538221725.jpg) (http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/displayimage.php?pos=-104577)



Click on the photo to go to Jane's album and leave a comment.


BigAl    :thumbup:


We all love comments! :)


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on December 24, 2017, 6:25 AM
It is the absolute right of the state to supervise the formation of public opinion.    --> Joseph Goebbels


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on December 28, 2017, 5:03 AM
If a man wishes to write a clear style, let him first be clear in his thoughts.    --> Goethe


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on December 29, 2017, 1:14 AM
It is the great triumph of genius to make the common appear novel.    --> Goethe


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on December 30, 2017, 3:46 AM
Truth is a torch, but a terrific one; therefore we all try to grasp it with closed eyes, fearing to be blinded.  --> Goethe


Title: Re: Coffee Counter 2017
Post by: BigAl on December 30, 2017, 3:47 AM

PHOTO OF THE WEEK (POTW)
for December 24th to December 30th
 

WINNER!!

(http://photography-cafe.com/images/rib1.gif)
"European Robin"
by Christopher Robin


(http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/albums/userpics/European_Robin~1.jpg) (http://www.photography-cafe.com/gallery/displayimage.php?pos=-104588)



Click on the photo to go to Christopher's album and leave a comment.


BigAl    :thumbup:


We all love comments! :)